


House of Secrets

by Glorfindel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Humor, Gen, Horrible siblings, Magic, Magic experiments, Poisonous killer plants, Terror, Violence, Wizards, parental loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-28 23:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 22,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3874813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glorfindel/pseuds/Glorfindel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The orphaned Lindir is taken to live with Elrond and Celebrian, who raise him as their son. When Celebrían sails twenty years later, he feels her loss just as keenly as Elrond's children. Lindir's siblings are horrible to him but he has powerful friends. Plus, Lindir doesn't help the situation - he does magic research experiments on his siblings and sees no reason not to continue. Maybe that was why Gandalf sent him an amulet of protection, or maybe not.</p><p>On the way to Lothlórien, Lindir meets Radagast the Brown, who hints at secrets in Lindir's past. They are attacked by killer plants and spiders, and escape, only to find themselves deep in a dark part of the forest, facing the Witch King and his Nazgul. </p><p>How will Lindir survive? </p><p>Will help come in the nick of time? </p><p>What part will the mysterious amulet play?</p><p>Lindir's fate forces the family to confront two explosive, painful and unspoken secrets: the huge deception around Lindir's birth, twenty-five years previous, and his part in what happened to Celebrian. </p><p>Will the family survive or will it be blown apart? </p><p>Lindir tells it all, leaving no stone unturned, and as unrepentant as ever!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. House of Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my beta Keiliss - you are a fantastic beta - I am lucky to have you :) Keiliss is also a gifted writer - see her Braided Light website here: http://braidedlight.net/
> 
> Thank you to my artist Ardisia - who made the illustrations and title page - your artwork is as wonderful as you are! I am still excited about it :)

 

 

 

 

 

[ ](http://photobucket.com/)

 

 

 


	2. Pink Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His hair definitely looked better pink, a happy change from boring black."

 

 

 

[ ](http://photobucket.com/)

 Lindir and Weezil

 

 

 

 

 

 

_There are no secrets that time does not reveal._

 

_Jean Racine_

 

 

 

 

 

Round and round and around. The wheat ears tickled my chest as I swished around in a blurry circle of swiftly moving dull yellow. When the world spun and juddered, nearly turning upside down, I fell on my back amid the yellow stalks, grinning widely and feeling slightly sick. The wispy clouds moved in all directions until my eyes settled down. All too soon the giddiness passed. Weezil, my pet otter stood looking bored. She could spin all she liked and never fall over.

 

 

"Come on. Let's do it again." I stood up and immediately ducked down again. Elladan was wading through the field, shouting my name.

 

 

"LINDIR! YOU ARE FOR IT THIS TIME!" He was coming nearer. "HOW DARE YOU DYE MY HAIR PINK. COME ON, SHOW YOURSELF! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!"

 

 

I always wondered if he used hair conditioner, and now I knew. His hair definitely looked better pink, a happy change from boring black.  Instead of being angry he should be on his knees thanking me forever and ever. Later on this success would be recorded in my 'Scientific Magic Experiments on Horrid Elladan' research diary, but for now I had to hide.

 

 

"Come back here," Glorfindel called. "You won't find him."

 

 

"Have you seen my hair?" Elladan screeched, sounding like an over excited monkey at a birthday party.

 

 

I couldn't see Glorfindel's expression because I was still hidden in the wheat. Elladan would go away, he always did. It was going to be a tricky few days but my research was more important than his appearance.

 

 

"This time he has gone too far. I am going to wring his neck." He shouted the last sentence, no doubt hoping I could hear and be suitably intimidated, which I wasn't. "Do you know what he did to me last week? He put a spell on my shoes, that's what. It is bloody hard trying to track a troll through the forest when your shoes are making you tango. Suppose I had been fighting an orc? I would have had to dance him to death instead!" Another thing to record. He told me the patrol was boring and nothing happened, but now I knew different.

 

 

I suspect Glorfindel laughed. He certainly had last week when I told him what I had done. Of course, he never told Elladan. Of all the constants in my life, Glorfindel is probably at the top. He knows how horrible my brothers and sister are.

 

 

After a while, I peered up above the grain. Elladan was gone. Slowly, I moved through the wheat ears, hoping that he was not concealed and trying to catch me as I went past; it would be just like him to do something like that. Did I dare to run across the courtyard to the house? Yes I did! Imagining myself as Huan the Hound, sailing in big leaps across the ground, I bounded through the field and over the flagstones, invincible, undefeatable, howling and snarling, until I reached the front door. Elladan wouldn't dare attack Huan, but I knew he wouldn't bat an eyelid at causing trouble for me.

 

 

"Lindir?"

 

 

I looked up. Arwen stared down at me. "Go away! I am being Huan the Hound."

 

 

"What did you do to Elladan?"

 

 

"I did nothing to Elladan. I did it to his hair conditioner."

 

 

"You see the clock tower over there?" she said menacingly, and a little too close to my face. "Well, I am going to string you up by your neck and hang you there if you ever pull a stunt like that with me." Weezil barked, so Arwen stood up a little; she has been bitten before.

 

 

"Does that mean you won't tell Elladan it was me?" My big, twenty-five year old eyes looked appealingly at her.

 

 

"He already knows. Honestly Lindir, sometimes you are not very bright." She shook her head dismissively and chuckled nastily before walking away.

 

 

Staring after her I hoped she would fall flat on her face, or a big well might open up and she would fall down it. A couple of the warriors smiled as she passed them; they probably wanted her to be their girlfriend and give them lots of kisses. Loads of warriors like Arwen, and she isn't all that good looking. I think it's because she flips the ends of her hair and wiggles her hips whenever she sees them.

 

 

The library has a section devoted to magic, which is closed off to nearly everybody. Elrond, my adar, has a key, which I stole off him some months back. It was a simple matter to make a cast of it with plaster mixed with water, then separating it after it set and filling the space with molten wax. The wax impression, once freed from the plaster, was a nearly perfect copy of the key. After carefully scraping away any surface imperfections it was an exact match. The bow and shaft of the moulded key were each attached to a roll of wax, pointing in opposite directions above the body, before being covered in clay plaster and left to dry. One of the rolls would act as a channel for the molten metal and the other would be a flue. I used to have lessons in making decorative jewellery; elves here like that sort of thing so I know perfectly well how to operate a small furnace. Indeed, I have one concealed in the secret laboratory Gandalf created for me the last time he was here.

 

After heating a small pot of bronze in the middle of the furnace until it was white hot, I took it out and slowly poured it into one of the wax channels. You have to take your time with molten metal because it tends to spurt out really quickly and splatter everywhere. When the metal pushed out the other wax channel it was done. After cooling overnight, a dusty key shape emerged when I broke the clay, but there was still work to do. First of all I had to saw off the metal that filled the channels, then I had to file the key to make it as smooth as the other one and refine the teeth of the pin so it could enter the lock and move the tumblers and catches within. I was lucky the cast worked first time. Sometimes the process doesn't work and I have to start over. Adar didn't even realise the key was gone, that's how much notice he takes of what I do.

 

 

Elladan didn't have a key to the magic section of the library, neither did Elrohir or Arwen, so I would be safest in there. The room was quite large, with plenty of places to hide, so even if they borrowed a key they might not find me.

 

 

"Where are you going?" Erestor asked as Weezil and I passed him in the library. He was sitting in an armchair reading a book about famous elves’ quotes and insults. I had already read it and worked out a few of my own. When I am older I bet a whole book like that will be devoted to the things I have said over the years.

 

 

"I am avoiding Elladan. He thinks I put stuff in his conditioner which made his hair turn pink."

 

 

"Well you did. Didn't you?"

 

 

"That's beside the point. I am doing important research and he is my guinea pig."

 

 

"You couldn't have picked a worse elf to be your guinea pig. You know how foul tempered he is."

 

 

"He is the only one who doesn't hide his toiletries. I looked in Elrohir and Arwen's rooms first."

 

 

Erestor sighed, because he likes to make loud huffy noises in libraries. "Come with me." He took my hand and we went to the door to the room containing the magic books. "Get your key out."

 

 

"What key?" Had he been spying on me?

 

 

He raised an eyebrow, so I took it out of my pocket and unlocked the door.

 

 

"How did you know?"

 

 

"I know everything." He smiled at me before pushing the door open.  "We should get these locks changed.

 

 

"That's all right. I will make another one."

 

 

Erestor shook his head. "Get in there quick." He bundled us in with indecent haste and swiftly shut the door. "Just in time."

 

 

"LINDIR!" Elladan roared from outside the room. "I KNOW YOU ARE IN HERE." We heard a soft voice followed by Elladan yelling that no, he would not modify his voice, and he didn't care one whit that he was in a library.

 

 

"That was lucky." I looked up at Erestor and giggled. Weezil giggled as well.

 

 

"Come along. It won't be two minutes before the librarian lets him in here." Erestor led us to the back of the room. He pulled out one of the books and let it go. The title of the book was 'Adventures in Sindarin - a Tengwar Primer for Tiny Elflings." Elladan would never know to pull that book out. He never reads, and I doubt he can, which means I am cleverer than him. Anyway, the bookcase moved a couple of feet and Erestor, Weezil and I squeezed inside. He pulled a lever and the gap closed. Weezil sneezed, nearly letting Elladan know exactly where we were hiding. Erestor took a light orb out of his pocket. In the soft yellow glow I could make out a table, some arm chairs and even more books.

 

 

"Doesn't smell very nice in here."

 

 

"There's very little ventilation; however, it's handy for hiding, or just getting away from everyone."

 

Weezil jumped onto one of the chairs and I wondered if she had been here before; she likes spending time with Erestor so it was possible. I didn't like to ask her because she is an otter and they cannot speak. Elrohir used to have a pet stag beetle called Rumbletybum, and he used to say things like, 'Who is a pretty boy?' to it. The beetle never answered, so Elrohir used to do a silly voice making out to answer for it. I used to laugh when he did that, but that was before Nana left when everyone was happy. He wouldn't talk to a beetle to make me laugh now.

 

 

"Where in Mordor is he?" Elladan yelled. It sounded as if he was standing right next to the bookcase.

 

 

The soft voice beside him suggested that if I had been in the room I must have run out as soon as Elladan bounded in between the bookshelves. Then he said that Elladan's hair was extremely attractive and asked if he would like to go to a party that evening.

 

 

"So long as the only other person there is you," Elladan replied, his voice taking on a smoother, lower tone. He has no idea about parties at all; that's because he is a thicky.

 

 

I rolled my eyes at Erestor. He rolled his back. The voices receded and the door beyond closed.

 

 

"You got away with that one," Erestor grinned. "Come along. I have something to show you."

 

 

We walked across the room. Halfway across I nearly tripped on a fur rug that still had the warg's head intact. Erestor pulled me up before I could hit the floor and told me to look where I was going. He opened another door . Beyond was a vision of the utmost brilliance.

 

 

"Wow! I never knew such a place existed. This is great. Look at all those bottles. What's inside them?"

 

 

"This is my magic laboratory. Gandalf has asked me to teach you the ways of magic. Lord Elrond has reluctantly agreed. It is hoped that increasing your knowledge will make you act more responsibly. I cannot see it myself, but who am I to disagree?"

 

 

"This is far better than my secret laboratory."

 

 

"You have a secret laboratory?"

 

 

"Yes."

 

 

"How do I not know about it?"

 

 

"Because it's secret. Gandalf said not to tell anyone."

 

 

I had to take Erestor to my rooms and show him my secret laboratory. "Ah good," he exclaimed. "This means you can do homework."

 

 

I didn’t care, and I told him so.

 

 


	3. Horrible siblings.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "All Elrohir does is go out and kill orcs and then sit at home sewing flowers and cute animals on bits of material."

 

 

 

It was safe for me to go to dinner that evening with my family.  I went to sit next to Arwen but she said her imaginary friend was sitting there and I had better move, or else. I didn't dare sit next to Elladan. Elrohir was busy with his embroidery and ignoring everyone. When I went to sit next to him he ordered me to move because little boys annoyed him. I had to sit next to Father, who I am sure was trying to think of an excuse. His brain isn't terribly fast, so I got in before it could work properly. I wished Weezil was with me. She was heading in the direction of the lake the last time I saw her. She never goes to dinner when meat isn't being served.

 

 

Across the room were several elves with pink hair. Obviously they had copied Elladan, who is a bit of a heart throb among elves of a certain age. He was beaming and happy, telling father that he had a date for that night.

 

 

"I am so glad I had my hair dyed pink," he declared. He glared at me swiftly before telling Adar that the Imladris Times was doing a special piece on him being a trendsetter.

 

 

"But..." I started, eager to let everyone know the truth.

 

 

Adar made out he was giving me a hug by hooking his arm around my shoulder and clamping my mouth shut with the palm of his hand.  He always does that when he wants to stop me speaking. Lucky he doesn't hurt me when he does it, otherwise I would have to bite him. "I believe Elladan was talking about how he chose to dye his hair pink." His eyes opened a fraction wider, and then he released his hand. So, it was all right for my brother to tell lies. I bet if I did the same there would be consequences.

 

 

Glorfindel joined us at the table and sat next to Arwen.

 

 

"You can't sit there. Arwen's imaginary friend needs that chair."

 

 

Arwen trilled with laughter. "Such an imagination. I wonder where he gets it from." I hate her. I really really hate her, and I hope something really horrible happens to her, like she has to marry a greasy, malodorous human with long stringy hair, bad teeth and honking breath.

 

 

Erestor sat next to Elrohir and complimented him on his embroidery, which was of two rabbits. One was on top of the other and they were making little baby rabbits.

 

 

"Thank you," Elrohir beamed fawningly because he absolutely adores Erestor.

 

 

Erestor always sits next to Elrohir. I can't think why. All Elrohir does is go out and kill orcs and then sit at home sewing flowers and cute animals on bits of material. Then he has them framed and gives them to elves on their birthday and at Yule. I don't know why he doesn't get a proper job and buy presents instead. Sometimes he makes soft toys. He made a dragon for me two years ago. One claw was up its nose, and on its chest was embroidered Bogey Wogey Dragon. He made it for me because he accidentally killed my last pet otter during archery practice and it was a sort of apology present. You might think I am too old for soft toys at twenty five, but sometimes I need something to cuddle other than Weezil, who sometimes eats cat poo.

 

 

I used to cuddle my first nana. I was five years old when she was killed. We lived with the Wanderers and she headed a band of warriors, but I do not remember a lot about it, just flashes of memory that I know must have happened then. I used to be able to remember Nana a lot more than I can now.

 

 

Nana died in an ambush. A party of orcs headed by three Nazgul killed every single member of her scouting party. Gildor took me to see her body so I could say goodbye. I didn't understand that I would never see her again. She looked asleep. I called, "Nana, Nana! Wake up!" but she did not move, so I shook her shoulder. I remember asking Gildor why her skin was so cold.

 

 

"Your nana has gone to Lord Nàmo's Hall of Awaiting," he replied gently. "That is where the dead go so they can prepare for living again in Valinor. You will see her again, but not for many years yet. Give your nana a kiss and maybe she will feel it where she is now."

 

 

I remember kissing Nana's cold lips. Her face was blurred because I was crying so much. I demanded that Gildor take me to Lord Nàmo's Halls so I could be with her again.  Gildor held me close and tried to comfort me, but I was hysterical. If only she hadn't died, I wouldn't have to live here with people who don't like me. I don't know why they are so horrible to me, just that they are. Maybe it is because Nana Celebrían liked me so much.

 

 

My only friends are Erestor and Glorfindel and Master Melpomaen. Elrond, my adar since I was five years old, doesn't notice anything that goes on. He rarely speaks to anyone. If we didn't sit down as a family at dinner time we would probably never see him. He used to be different when Nana Celebrían lived here. They were all different. When I was younger, Elladan and Elrohir made me a wooden sword and taught me some moves. I used to chase them down the corridors waving my sword and they would pretend to be scared and run away. My belly ached from laughing so hard. Arwen used to cuddle me and she taught me to read. We used to make up silly voices, and if I made her laugh she would tickle me to make me laugh even harder. Father told me tales of when he was a little boy; he lost his nana and adar and had to live with Maglor and Maedhros. Maybe the death of my first nana made him think of when he was an elfling, so when Nana Celebrían sailed it became too much for him. Maybe that is why he doesn't say much to me anymore.

 

 

Gildor brought me here. He said I needed to remain safe. Nana Celebrían said how wonderful it was to have another son. She told me to call her 'Nana', so I did. I do not know why or how, but Nana Celebrían seemed closer to me than my first nana. It was as though Celebrían was my real nana and not my first nana. It seems disloyal, so I try not to think too hard about it.

 

 

Sometimes they talk about life before when Nana Celebrían still lived here. On one occasion I wanted to talk about the time when Nana took me swimming and we found a load of frog spawn that was hatching into little tiny tadpoles.

 

 

"She wasn't your mother," Elrohir said contemptuously. "She didn't even like you."

 

 

"Yes she did," I shouted hotly.

 

 

"Raising your voice doesn't alter the truth." Arwen smirked. "Why don't you go away? This is for family only, not you."

 

 

The tears formed in my eyes and my face burnt scarlet. I wanted to hurt them, but more I wanted them not to hurt me.

 

 

Elladan shook his head. "Look, he's crying." The sound of their mocking laughter rang in my ears as I ran from the room.

 

 

It wasn't the only time they did it. Erestor told them several times that I had lost two nanas and reminded them that they were over two thousand years old so they should act their age. Glorfindel went to Father and told him to do something about it. He told them to be kinder because I was too young to know or appreciate the affairs of adults. I had no idea what he meant and I am still not completely sure.

 

 


	4. Do Balrogs have Wings?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Remember Lindir, denial is everything."

"Erestor, you are really great at magic," I said, beaming with happiness because we were in the middle of a magic experiment that looked to have a good result if it worked.

 

"Thank you. Gandalf taught me. For many years I was his apprentice, but I will never be as good as him because he is a Maia and they have special powers. Elves have powers as well if they choose to exercise them, but they are nowhere near as pronounced as a wizard's."

 

"Gandalf likes me. When he comes to visit we spend a lot of time together. When I lived with my first nana he used to see me then as well."

 

"Do you know why he likes you so much?" Erestor asked softly, his eyes smiling fondly, as if he had seen a baby kitten. 

 

I nodded, having no idea at all.

 

Erestor grinned and ruffled my hair. "Then perhaps it is not my place to tell."

 

"Erestor!"

 

"You will find out soon enough."

 

I hate it when elves say things like that. It always makes me wonder. "I will ask Gandalf myself. He will tell me."

 

"I believe he will. You might be surprised at his answer, but it is a good surprise and one worth waiting for."

 

"Erestor! You are doing it again!"

 

Erestor winked. "Enigmatic is my middle name." He always says things like that. When I am older I am going to say things like that as well, but not anywhere near Elrohir because he might look at me like he looks at Erestor and I would have to hit him.

 

We stirred the contents of the small cauldron that hung over the open fire. The ingredients had taken all morning to collect. Some came from the forest and the rest I took from Elrohir's bedroom. He won't miss a couple of crewel needles, or the untouched flower perfume that Arwen gave him for Yule two years ago. We took some hair from his hairbrush as well. He is likely to notice how much cleaner it is than before because he never removes the hair after brushing; it had become so thick that the bristles were almost covered. Really, I was doing him a favour.

 

When Erestor went to put the hair in to the bubbling mixture he looked at me and said quite seriously, "Remember Lindir, denial is everything."

 

"Yes, I know nothing." We exchanged a complicit smile as Erestor dropped the bundle of matted black hair into the cauldron. 

 

"This is just baby stuff, making potions. In a couple of weeks I will teach you how to focus your mind and use your will. Gandalf taught me about channelling the forces of nature, but I can only go so far, being an elf." He paused as he gave the cauldron a stir with a wooden paddle. "This needs to be left overnight before we can use it."

 

"Maybe I will be as good as you one day."

 

"Maybe you will be better." It was useless pursuing the meaning. Erestor is as mysterious as his smile. He would tell me only what he wanted to.

 

o0o0o0o

 

Glorfindel sat on the end of the jetty over the lake near to the main house. Sometimes he goes there because the view is similar to one he knew as an elfling, and if he looks in a certain direction he can forget that he lives in Imladris and remember his old home in Gondolin. Sometimes I feel like that when I ride Fido, my pony, through the bluebell woods. The scent of the freshly trodden earth, decaying leaves, and damp morning mist brings back memories of snuggling against my first nana as we rode for days at a time. She wrapped me up in a soft lambskin. On my head was a knitted hat with a pompom on the top. I cannot remember much else, so I think I must have slept most of the time.

 

We sat together swinging our bare feet just inches above the water. In the distance, Weezil dived for fish. She had spent the morning with Glorfindel while I made the potion with Erestor. Elrohir once told me that a huge pike lived in the lake and it would jump up and bite the toes of the unwary. Glorfindel said it wasn't true and did not know why he said such things.

 

"Fin, do balrogs have wings? I was reading a book about them the other day and it said that no one knew for sure, but you have seen one so you should know."

 

"Yes, they have wings." Glorfindel put his arm around my shoulder. Before I could say anything further his huge hands lifted me up and he swung me around his head. "They fly this way, and then that way, and then over the water." I thought he was going to drop me, but he caught me at the last moment so the pike couldn't get me - I was still not sure about it.

 

I really like Glorfindel. He is so much fun, even when he is being sad. I sat on his lap and decided to tell him a huge secret. "Fin, look at Elrohir tomorrow at dinner. Don't say anything, just watch."

 

"What have you done this time?" One eyebrow was raised, so I knew I had to answer him.

 

"Erestor mainly. He is really clever. I like him a lot."

 

A faint smile appeared on Glorfindel's lips and he looked as if far away, even though he was sitting beside me. "I like him a lot too."

 

"I think Elrohir wants to give him big, snoggy kisses."

 

Glorfindel lay back on the jetty floor and laughed for all he was worth. I have no idea why. Still, it was good to see him happy again.


	5. The Amulet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are the only elfling in Middle-earth who receives letters from a wizard. Do you have any idea why that might be, or how lucky you are?"

 

 

 

 

"Here is a letter from Gandalf addressed to you." Adar handed the thick envelope to me. The stiff card was reinforced with several wraps of string and knotted in such a fashion that only a wizard, or perhaps Erestor, could unpick it. Or me.

 

 

"Thank you. I will take it back to my room and read it." I looked around, hoping to make a quick exit to avoid Adar's eyes boring into me from under his furrowed eyebrows.

 

 

"Lindir."

 

 

I turned back to face him and gave my sweetest smile.

 

 

"You are the only elfling in Middle-earth who receives letters from a wizard. Do you have any idea why that might be, or how lucky you are?"

 

 

"No. Does he send letters because he likes me?"

 

 

Father looked away, back to a scroll he was reading. "I will see you at dinner. Please try to be there on time. You were late for breakfast and lunch."

 

 

"But..." It was useless telling him I was late because I needed other people around so my horrible brothers and ratbag sister wouldn't pick on me.

 

 

Father's eyes bored into me again. I left the room without saying anything further.

 

 

I ran upstairs, hiding the letter under my jumper so the enemy wouldn't see it. After locking the door behind me I jumped on the bed. Weezil screeched at me for disturbing her, then she snuggled up by my side. A simple wave of my hand and a few well chosen words over the knotted string caused it to unravel. Gandalf taught me how to do that and warned me not to tell anyone, not even Erestor. There is quite a bit I know and have to keep secret. Gandalf said that if my family are not aware of my gifts they cannot blame me for when things go wrong. I can see his point, but to doubly make sure I hardly ever use them. Elves are not stupid; they would put two and two together after a while, even thicky Elladan. I can wait until I am fifty to tell everyone. It will be a stunning denouement that the elfling they picked on is suddenly more powerful than the lot of them.

 

 

Gandalf's writing is thin and spidery. He calls it 'real writing' and says I should learn it too. I am not going to though.

 

 

_Dear Lindir,_

 

 

_I hope you are enjoying your new magic laboratory and learning lots of lore from Erestor. He is very good, excellent for an elf in fact, but will never be as great as you will be one day._

 

 

_When you are fifty I will take you to faraway lands and show you magic wonders that only wizards can see. You too will one day be a wizard, I know it in my bones. However, this is not something to tell your family. Their reaction may not be as joyful as yours, simply because they are still grieving and have lost the ability to show kindness. In a way they are to be pitied because at a deep level they cannot stop crying inside. Things will get better, even though everything looks so horrible at the moment._

 

 

_I have enclosed an amulet of protection and request that you put it on immediately. There are dark days in your future and the amulet will protect you when I cannot.  This may be the single most important thing you have ever done in your life._

 

 

_I look forward to seeing you soon. Until then, wear the amulet. Put it against your bare chest and see how it looks._

 

 

_Gandalf xxx_

 

 

I bet I am the only elf who Gandalf writes to and puts kisses at the end of his name. Sometimes he seems more of a father than Adar does. At least he talks to me. And he built me a secret magic laboratory!

 

 

The amulet was a thin gold band with what looked like a protection spell calling upon the Valar to protect the wearer. There was no chain, just the circle. I placed it against my chest to see how it would look, as Gandalf suggested, and it began to glow. It stuck fast to my chest and I could not pull it off. Then it disappeared! When I rubbed my chest there was a slight round ridge under the skin. I tore out the room, still clutching the letter, and ran to Erestor's apartment. Weezil ran with me; no doubt she was worried by it as well.

 

 

"Erestor, look!" I showed him my chest. "Look what Gandalf's amulet of protection has done. I put it on my chest and it went under my skin. How can I get it back out?"

 

 

"Then it was meant to go under your skin." Erestor peered hard and poked my chest with his finger. "It's very well done." He stood up. "Don't worry Lindir; that's meant to happen. It disappears under the skin so it cannot be stolen. No one can see it either, unless they know what to look for."

 

 

"I didn't feel a thing! It just happened."

 

 

"You are a very lucky boy."

 

 

"I don't feel lucky..." There was someone else in Erestor's rooms. I saw a flash of golden hair. "Is Glorfindel in your rooms? Can I see him?"

 

 

"Erm...he is changing out of his clothing because he was in the rain and got wet..."

 

 

"He could have changed in his own rooms."

 

 

"Hello Lindir" Glorfindel called from inside the room. He came to the door wearing a towel around his waist. "I got wet and Erestor kindly offered to let me dry off with one of his towels. Mine are at the laundry." Weezil barked at him. She likes Glorfindel and wanted to go inside and play.

 

 

Happily it was pouring down outside, otherwise I might have thought they were fibbing. Both of them certainly looked as if they were.

 

 

"Oh well, I will see you at dinner. Father says I must not be late because I was late for breakfast." I rolled my eyes to show that I thought it was all very silly. "See you later."

 

 

"Bye," Erestor called. "Weezil has decided to stay. I will bring her along later."

 

 

So Weezil can go in Erestor's rooms and not me. I felt a bit deflated but it didn't matter.

 

  



	6. Master Melpomaen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Master Melpomaen, who is my teacher, smells of milky tea and wholewheat biscuits, the type that have hardly any sugar in them.

 

 

 

Father makes me go to singing and music lessons. He thinks that such things serve to make an elf well rounded and that elves in general admire singing talent and musical ability. He told me that I had to go because, 'You show promise in that area'.

 

 

Master Melpomaen, who is my teacher, smells of milky tea and wholewheat biscuits, the type that have hardly any sugar in them. He never smiles, except for when he is listening to singing or music, and then he shuts his eyes, turns his face upwards so it faces the ceiling, and rocks slightly from side to side while maintaining a smile that is wider than my foot is long. He looks really stupid when he does it. Erestor thinks so too. He called him a nitwit behind his back.

 

 

I went for my very first lesson about a year ago.  "Sing something," he barked, just after I introduced myself. "Come on! I haven't got all day."

 

 

He probably wanted me to feel awed. I decided to sing the Lay of Leithian. That was the first time I saw him smiling blindly at the ceiling. After a few minutes I stopped, mainly because I was having to hold in my laughter at him looking so weird.

 

 

"Carry on," he said, with his face still turned upwards.

 

 

I carried on singing, keeping my eyes shut so I wouldn't see him and laugh. I had to sing it through to the very end before he would let me stop. It took ages!

 

 

 

Master Melpomaen's eyes opened slowly. He stared at me, as if in amazement, before leaping up and grabbing hold of my collar. "Come with me." He propelled me out of the door.

 

 

I was marched all the way to Adar's office. "Have I done something wrong?" Why else would we going be there?

 

 

Master Melpomaen didn't even knock! We burst into the office and stood before Adar. His face fell, as if he was judging me already.

 

 

Master Melpomaen let go of me and walked swiftly around the desk. He grabbed hold of Adar's collar and propelled him towards the window. Adar was at a loss. He tried to protest but Master Melpomaen cut him short.

 

 

"What do you see out of the window? I will give you a clue: it streams through the window." Master Melpomaen's eyes were wild with excitement. Adar looked a bit uneasy, which made me laugh a little bit on the inside.

 

 

"Erm, sunshine? Anor?"

 

 

"Precisely. I hear sunshine when your son sings. Lindir is sunshine." He released Adar, who looked swiftly at me, as if to say that Master Melpomaen was bonkers. "Why hasn't he been sent to me before now?"

 

 

"Ah, I thought Lindir was in trouble."

 

 

"Lord Elrond! Answer the question." Master Melpomaen seemed to be beside himself, as if he had discovered a vein of mithril in his sock drawer.

 

 

"I was not aware that Lindir was especially gifted. He refuses to sing when we worship the Valar and he doesn't join in with the singing in the Hall of Fire. So I have no idea why."

 

 

"When it comes to singing, Lindir outshines each and every elf in this realm." Master Melpomaen stood behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. "He has the voice of a Maia."

 

 

Adar seemed to flinch slightly. I have no idea why. Master Melpomaen saw him do it as well.

 

 

"I assure you, my Lord, that is not a bad thing. His voice is a gift from Lord Eru himself."

 

 

"Yes, I am sure it is," Adar replied dismissively. "Are you able to teach him anything, or is he even better than you?" Master Melpomaen was renowned for his singing. Erestor said that was the reason Father let him hold such a high position.

 

 

"I can teach him the finer arts of music." Master Melpomaen made it sound rather grand, ignoring Adar's snipe.

 

 

"Well that is settled." Adar looked down at a scroll he was reading, signifying the interview was over.

 

 

So, Master Melpomaen is teaching me how to play various instruments, because my singing surpasses even his abilities. I have to practise in the gardens, well away from earshot, because Arwen threatened to drown me if she heard even one note; apparently she can hear through the walls. According to her, my practising gets on her nerves. Elrohir and Elladan do not seem to be bothered, but that might be because they are hardly ever in their rooms.

 

 

Sometimes, when I am in the woods by the lake and everything is silent, I hear a twig snap when a wild animal runs nearby. I imagine that an orc has hunted me down and is about to kill me. It then emerges from behind a tree and renounces its evil ways, promising to do good forever more, simply because it was so moved by my singing. Now I know my voice is beautiful, there is no way I'm going to let any of my family hear me sing anything but musical scales, not that they heard me before, and it serves them right.

 

 

I am using singing to make friends with the forest animals. Master Melpomaen says this is entirely possible and is giving me lots of encouragement. He suggested that I listen to the noises they make and try to apply it to a musical scale, which is really boring and involves writing. Elladan and Elrohir accuse me of running wild, but in reality when I am outside I am listening to my surroundings. If I become as one with nature then it will become as one with me. According to Glorfindel warriors do it all the time, even my horrible brothers, apparently, and such a skill could one day save my life.

 

 

I really like Master Melpomaen. Others laugh and impersonate him, but he made me feel good about something I can do better than anyone else. With a family like mine it is good to have someone who is always pleased to see me. Erestor and Glorfindel are good friends, but they're not always around, so I am glad I have Master Melpomaen as a friend also.

 

 

This morning Master Melpomaen asked if I was looking forward to a forthcoming trip to Lothlórien.

 

 

"I haven't been told about a trip to Lothlórien."

 

 

"Lord Elrond has ordered that I accompany you as your tutor."

 

 

"Is it just us going? Just me and you?"

 

 

Master Melpomaen laughed, a rare occurrence for him. "Bless you. No, we will be travelling with your family and a warrior guard. You haven't seen Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn for a few years, so you must be looking forward to it."

 

 

"Well I didn't know until now."

 

 

"Well I for one am glad of the opportunity to travel abroad. One of my friends lives in Lothlórien." He has friends?

 

 

"I am glad we are going as well." My smile was brilliant, the best acting job ever; however, inside I felt uneasy and did not know why. It was useless asking Master Melpomaen; he would have no idea unless it was music related.

 

 

"Now, I want you to imagine our Lady's Starry Veil. When you can see it in your mind, think about what music the stars would weave. Do not leave it too long; you want the pure thoughts as they come to you without your own ideas intruding. When you are ready, go to the harpsichord and play their music."

 

 

After a few seconds I began to play. Master Melpomaen stared up at the ceiling, his head swaying from side to side, eyes shut and a wide smile on his face. As I played a tinkling melody I wondered, to the point of being consumed, why I did not want to go to Lothlórien. After all, the journey was a lot safer now than five years ago.

 

 

 


	7. Elrohir is Embarrassed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A drop of the potion Erestor made in his magic laboratory was in Elrohir's first glass of wine..."

 

 

[ ](http://photobucket.com/)

Elrohir's leggings  - _"They were in tatters, and his face was bright red."_

 

 

 

 

"Master Melpomaen said this morning that we are going to Lothlórien." I was in Erestor's secret laboratory, pounding dried athelas to a powder,  ready to tip it into a small cauldron full of boiling goose fat. We were making ointments for the healing rooms and Erestor was adding a few touches of his own. He said endless incantations over the goose fat as it rendered down into a liquid, and he also added essences of rare plants. One of them has to be dug up at midnight during a full moon, and it screams when it leaves the ground.

 

 

"Yes we are. Lord Elrond told you at breakfast."

 

 

"He didn't say anything like that at breakfast."

 

 

"You probably didn't hear. You were busy ducking under the table to feed Weezil when he said it."

 

 

"I heard Adar say it would be good to see Lady Galadriel again. I thought she was coming here."

 

 

"I will be glad to go on a trip. It will get us away from here. A change of scenery is never a bad thing."

 

 

"I don't want to go. I feel something bad might happen." There, it was said.

 

 

Erestor looked at me thoughtfully. "You will be all right. Glorfindel and I will protect you. It won't be like..." He stopped.

 

 

"Like what?"

 

 

"Oh, I was just thinking of when I was an elfling and we were set about by bandits. We overcame them easily but it was the first time I had seen anyone in battle. It was quite scary." He was lying, but I said nothing.

 

 

o0o0o0o

 

 

"If we are lucky you will be eaten by a troll," Arwen sniped at me during dinner. She laughed and my brothers thought she was so amusing they laughed too. They are over two thousand years old so they should stop laughing at me and grow up a bit.

 

 

"Yes, they hide along the roads to Lothlórien waiting for young boys of your age to pass by," Elladan wittered. I noticed his pink hair was starting to show black roots.

 

 

"Apparently boys your age are considered a delicacy." Elrohir looked smugly at me. "I don't rate your chances at all."

 

 

"Enough!" Adar used his 'I am extremely irritated' voice, causing all of us to jump. "It is bad manners to talk loudly at the table."

 

 

"Glorfindel and Erestor will protect me against trolls." I kept my voice low, so Adar wouldn't look at me, smiling at my horrible siblings, knowing I was right.

 

 

"Yes we will," Glorfindel said firmly, glaring at them. They looked away and said nothing. Adar split a bread roll in two and dipped half in what was left of his soup, whilst staring at my horrible brothers. "You will be safe with Erestor and me. We will not let you come to any harm." Glorfindel smiled reassuringly, but it didn't work that well, I still felt uneasy.

 

 

"Master Melpomaen is coming too. He is to be my tutor so I don't get bored."

 

 

The waiter took our empty soup plates away. The second course would be served immediately after Adar had finished his bread roll.

 

 

Glorfindel sighed. "We will probably have to protect him as well."  

 

 

 

Erestor shook his head, as if dismayed. "I have never seen him wield a sword."

 

 

"Not everyone can be like us," Glorfindel said gently. "Although, they should at least try." For some reason he and Erestor thought they were very funny, but I had no idea why.

 

 

" Adar, does Master Melpomaen have to come with us?" Arwen asked as loudly as she dared. "He smells funny. I am sure he mustn't wash." How she giggled.

 

 

"He is Lindir's teacher and will keep him occupied on the long journey." Adar looked pointedly at my ratbag sister. "Unless you would like to take on that role?" Arwen looked away, saying nothing.

 

 

The waiter served the main course: thick, juicy cubes of seasoned meat on metal skewers, seared on the outside and tender within, served with a tossed salad and lemon roast potatoes. I tucked in, wanting to eat while the meat was hot because it goes greasy if left to cool. I was busy licking my fingers after feeding Weezil a chunk of meat, when Elrohir did the most spectacularly huge fart. Poor Weezil barked in surprise.

 

 

Everyone stopped talking and stared at Elrohir. "It wasn't me. It was Lindir," he said as he reached for a roast potato. His eyes slid in my direction to reinforce the point.

 

 

"I didn't fart! It was you!" How dare he. "I hope your bumhole explodes into a million bits, you dirty fibber!"

 

 

"Lindir!" Adar said, raising his voice. "Foul language is not allowed at the table."

 

 

Elrohir smirked at me before stabbing another potato with his fork. Then he did another bottom burp. This time the fart lifted him a foot into the air before he crashed down again, yelping like an outraged badger. Weezil jumped onto my lap, no doubt worried that the table might crash onto her. She snuffled her little brown whiskers in my ear and made little grunting noises.

 

 

"So it was you," Erestor said quickly, before anyone could blame me again.

 

 

"Yes, how could you blame Lindir?" Adar asked, giving Elrohir a look that reeked of disappointment. Then he turned his attention to me. "You know your otter isn't allowed at the table."

 

I gave Weezil a chunk of lamb. She jumped off my lap and ran under the table. Looking under the tablecloth I saw Ada holding a piece of meat down by his side for her to eat. He stroked her head as she tore it to shreds. I looked up quickly, so I did not get into trouble.

 

 

"I was only joking with him." Elrohir could protest as much as he liked, but everyone now knew he was a fibber. "Anyway, it is not normal for an elf of my age to fart like this, so he probably knows more about it than he is letting on." He reeled around at me. "Don't you?"

 

 

"No." It was true, sort of. A drop of the potion Erestor made in his magic laboratory was in Elrohir's first glass of wine; I had helped to make it, but that was all.

 

 

"Lindir has spent most of the day with me. I assure you most strongly that he has not been up to no good," Erestor said stiffly.

 

 

Elrohir looked mortified. Erestor, the object of his affections, was criticising him. "I didn't mean..."

 

 

"Enough," Adar cut in. "I will have no more arguing at the table. Elrohir, try to keep your bottom under control, or else you will be spending the rest of your meal with the healer."

 

 

"Yes, Adar." Elrohir did not seem happy at all. He looked sideways at me until Erestor jabbed him sharply in the ribs and ordered him to eat his dinner.

 

 

Happily, Elrohir did another fart, so huge that even the far reaches of the dinner hall heard. Erestor grinned brightly and handed him his dinner, so he could take it to the healers. It is lucky there was no smell; the whole room went silent for a couple of seconds before erupting into laughter. Weezil was so surprised she jumped onto my lap and barked in my ear, nearly causing me to go deaf. Elrohir had to pick his way between the tables, holding his dinner in his hand, with the back of his leggings totally blown away! They were in tatters, and his face was bright red.

 

 

I tried not to laugh. I really did.

 

 


	8. The Journey Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "At least two young maidens threatened to kill themselves if I do not come back," Elrohir lied.

 

 

 

We left for Lothlórien a few days later. It was about time; after Elrohir's farting at the dinner table I had to avoid being anywhere near my horrible siblings. Most of my time was spent with Erestor, he thought it was safer for me and I was grateful for his protection.

 

 

I thought that only my family and a few others were going, but it seems loads of people wanted to come with us. Maybe they all had relatives there, or maybe they hadn't been on holiday for a very long time. As far as I could see, in front of me and behind, were courtiers and warriors. Master Melpomaen sat on a horse beside mine. According to him Glorfindel was at the head of the procession and Erestor was at the rear. Both points needed guarding the most. Even I knew that, but I made out I didn't know so he felt better about being with us. My horrible siblings had already made several pointed witticisms at his expense.

 

I was a bit sad because Adar refused to let Weezil come with us. He said the amount of travel would be too stressful for her. I gave her a big kiss and a cuddle goodbye, even though she had just eaten some cat poo. She will be living in a kennel with the other family otters and will be able to swim in the river whenever she feels like it. I missed her company before we set off; she is one of my closest friends.

 

 

Elladan and Elrohir joined us after posing in front of the court artist. They stood with swords drawn, trying to look manly, which was really easy for Elladan with his pink hair and black roots. After a few sketches they turned to the procession and bowed before apologising for being so popular that their fans had made them late.

 

 

"At least two young maidens threatened to kill themselves if I do not come back," Elrohir lied.

 

 

The trip was really boring. Even Fido, my pony, found it boring. Everyone else was on a horse, but Father said I was too small. When I lived with my first mother we rode on a big, chestnut mare, and the swaying used to make me fall asleep. I had no such luck riding Fido. I was awake for every boring minute. Master Melpomaen hardly spoke at all because his bottom was sore after not riding a horse for years. One of the healers gave him a pot of cream and said something about yeast. I have no idea why. When I asked, I was told that little boys can lose their ears if they eavesdrop. However, Master Melpomaen seemed to have cheered up a bit by the next morning.

 

 

The mountains were quite interesting, so was going through the pass. Even the Gladden River was all right, but everything else was boring. We rode down the strip of land between the Misty Mountains and the Anduin and it seemed to go on forever. When we reached the Dimrill Dale the land rose up either side of us, so we were in a huge, wooded valley with a large open space in the middle. You could imagine a really wide river running through it. Or, if it was blocked at the ends, it could contain a lake.

 

 

"How pretty it is here," Arwen exclaimed, as she looked around. Her head swivelled so fast that I imagined it unscrewing and falling in her lap and everyone shouting that she was a tool of the one whose name we do not mention. Then Elladan and Elrohir would probably kill her. Both act first and think later because they are idiots.

 

 

"We will stay here for a couple of days," Adar announced. "We need to stop for a while and get the feeling back in our rears." He looked in Master Melpomaen's direction and smiled. The warriors laughed because their bottoms were not sore at all, according to them anyway. It was the longest sentence Adar had spoken since we left.

 

 

"Thank the Valar," Master Melpomaen muttered.

 

 

"Is your bottom still sore?" Elladan smirked and rode off chuckling. He cannot talk; his hair looks more ridiculous as the days go by. There is at least an inch of black at the roots. Master Melpomaen glared but said nothing.

 

 

"No wandering off." Elrohir sauntered past, idly flicking dirt from under his fingernails. "If you get lost. we won't be rescuing you." Arwen laughed at what he said before walking away to join Adar.

 

 

"I won't get lost." Silly Elrohir! I had no intention of getting lost. I always know where I am going.

 

 


	9. Special Potatoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "They are not the brothers they used to be."

"Now it's pretty safe around here," Adar said as he scratched his head and looked towards the forest covering the valley sides. He denied having fleas when I asked and told me to pay attention. "Even so, I don't want you wandering off on your own." Before I could answer, he walked off.

 

Just about everybody thinks I am going to get lost if I wander off. How hard could it be to find my way back? I never get lost in the forests around Imladris.

 

"Lindir, come over here and help me with the potatoes." Glorfindel diverted my attention. I was deciding which patch of forest I should investigate first. Well, there was always tonight.

 

"Coming." 

 

"Right, take a potato, stab it a few times with that knife so it doesn't explode in the heat. It's sharp, so be careful it doesn't go in your hand. Now use that piece of wood to make a space in the fire and throw the potato in."

 

"Father never let me do this before. He said I would probably fall in the fire and burn to death."

 

" You are twenty five; that's when a young elf learns how to be an adult. When we get back you will start warrior training and do fun stuff like this all the time."

 

"So long as I don't end up like my horrible brothers."

 

Glorfindel looked at me, as if he was concerned. "They are not the brothers they used to be."

 

"They hate me." Glorfindel's acknowledgement of how my brothers had changed made everything well up inside. My eyes stung with hot tears. I quickly wiped the wetness away with the heel of my hand, lest they see me. 

 

"Come here." Glorfindel hugged me close and rubbed my back. "Dry your eyes, they are approaching."

 

In the distance, I heard Erestor call them. He shouted that they were to care for their horses and not expect others to do it. They grumbled loads and walked back to where they had come from.

 

Shortly after, Glorfindel let go of me. "Stay beside me or Erestor while we are here. They will not dare try anything in front of us."

 

"Thank you." Glorfindel gave me another potato and I buried it in the fire using the long piece of wood. "I wish Nana was still here. They were nicer then. It's not my fault she sailed."

 

"No, it's not." Glorfindel patted my shoulder. "Your sister and brothers are still grieving. I think they were jealous that you were so close to your nana, but they need to remember you are a child and they are adults. They had their time with her while yours has been cut short."

 

"I miss Nana. She wouldn't let them be horrible to me if she was still here."

 

"No, she wouldn't." Glorfindel put his arm around my shoulder. "I know it hurts, things like that always do. Your life won't always be this bad."

 

Erestor squatted beside me and poked the fire. "Burying potatoes for us to eat?"

 

I nodded.

 

"Shall we bury special ones for your brothers?"

 

"I think you should," Glorfindel said before I could answer. "What about Arwen? She needs a special potato as well."

 

Erestor took three large potatoes and stabbed the skins. On each one he smeared a drop of an oily yellow liquid and said a low incantation as it sunk through into the flesh. He stopped when it disappeared. I made a hole in the fire and pushed the potatoes in to cook.

 

"What will happen?" I was so excited. I know it wasn't me getting them back but it felt good anyway. 

 

"If I tell you then it won't be a surprise." Erestor stood up and took my hand. "Come along. We will go for a walk in the forest. I know you want to explore."


	10. The Forest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A dwelling, of sorts, stood ramshackle and weathered in a small clearing."

 

 

Beyond the grass floor of the valley the forest began. Both sides of the valley were covered in trees. At first, they were sparse; dog rose, nightshade and honeysuckle bushes, splashed with dappled sunlight, grew between the silvered trunks of birch trees, but as we progressed the trees became closer and the ground much darker. Birch gave way to ash, oak and beech. Lichen grew on many of the tree trunks and covered gnarled and twisted roots exposed just above the ground. Some of the trunks hosted small shelves of fungi and others were fallen and dead, covered with bright toadstools. There were no paths, so we had to pick our way carefully.

 

 

"Look over there." Erestor pointed to a tree covered in crab apples. "It is rare to see one so far into the forest."

 

 

"There is a clearing just beyond it." A dwelling, of sorts, stood ramshackle and weathered in a small clearing. A large oak tree grew just behind, as if offering shelter.

 

 

"Gandalf once told me that Radagast the Brown sometimes frequents these forests. Maybe that is where he lives." Erestor did not look impressed. "I have heard that he does not welcome visitors."

 

 

A strong urge filled my being. "I need to see him." Where had the voice come from that issued from my mouth? The middle of my chest throbbed and I could feel the outline of the amulet.

 

 

 

Erestor took my hand and pulled me in the direction from which we came. "Listen to me. This is important. You will not go into the forest on your own. Do you understand?" His eyes seemed terrified, as if he had sensed something I had not.

 

 

"What's the matter? All I said was..."

 

 

"I know what you said, but I am not sure it was you saying it."

 

 

Erestor gripped my hand even harder. We were almost running by the time we were free of the woods and back in the sunshine.

 

 

o0o0o0o

 

 

Adar peered at me while Erestor told him about the forest.

 

 

"Perhaps Lindir is meant to meet Radagast." Adar peered at me with greater intensity, so I peered back just as hard. He shook his head and looked away. "He is harmless enough and Gandalf seems to hold him in high regard."

 

 

"Assuming it is Radagast?" Erestor was like a dog with a bone.

 

 

Adar said nothing. His brow furrowed as he thought. It was a full two minutes before he spoke. During that time I became incredibly bored and looked at Erestor, who put his finger to his lips so I would not disrupt Adar 's concentration.

 

 

"Galadriel knows that we are here. Yesterday her warriors rode out from Lothlórien with the intention of meeting us. If there is any threat we will be able to meet it; however, it would be folly to stay longer than is necessary.  We shall depart early tomorrow."

 

 

"I will spread the word." Erestor stood up. I did too. I had no wish to sit with Adar, he might spend more time thinking and I wouldn't be able to say anything.

 

 

Adar looked at me. "You are not to go anywhere without an escort. Stay with Erestor or Glorfindel, they will make sure you are safe."

 

 

"Am I in danger?"

 

 

"I am not sure."

 

 

"Listen to your father," Erestor said as he took my hand and led me out of the tent. "No wiser elf ever spoke."

 

 

"How do you know?" I asked after we were well away from Adar's tent.

 

 

"How do I know what?"

 

 

"How do you know that no wiser elf ever spoke?" I gave Erestor my cheekiest grin. "Did you line him up with other wise elves and ask them all to say something?"

 

 

"Now you are being silly." There was a tiny smile at the corners of his mouth.

 

 

"Gandalf is cleverer than Adar."

 

 

"Gandalf is not an elf. He is a wizard."

 

 

"Yes, but Gandalf has pointy ears, so doesn't that really make him an elf who looks like an old human? Maybe he is elf and human."

 

 

"Lindir!" Erestor laughed. "I wonder what goes on in your head sometimes."

 

 

We walked hand in hand over to the bonfire. Glorfindel stood with a stick, poking it in the fire and pulling the cooked potatoes out. A line of elves waited with plates ready. Elrohir and Elladan were standing at a table where they were carving chunks from a large block of butter to put on their steaming baked potatoes.

 

 

"Erestor. Look. They are going to eat their potatoes."

 

 

"Yes, I know," he replied, a strange smile on his face. "Let's get some food. I'm starving."

 

 

"Theoretically you are not starving because you haven't been without food for a long period of time..."

 

 

Erestor gave me a look that made me think he might do something to my food as well if I did not shut up. I gave him my best smile and said nothing more.

 

 

  



	11. Radagast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The amulet beneath your skin has unlocked that which was once dormant."

 

 

It was hard to get to sleep. So far nothing had happened to my horrible siblings as a result of Erestor's spell. I was beginning to think he was losing his touch.

 

 

"Erestor when will something happen? Are you sure your spell worked?"

 

 

He didn't answer. In fact he was not just asleep but unnaturally quiet as well. I shook his shoulder and yelled loudly in his ear, which is guaranteed to wake any elf. Glorfindel was laying the other side of me. He didn't wake up either, even though I scrubbed his chest bone with my fist, which hurts a lot but is necessary when trying to tell if someone is unconscious or not. Glorfindel didn't stir.

 

 

"IS ANYONE AWAKE?" I shouted as hard and loud as I could, but no one stirred. I was obviously still asleep and dreaming, so I lay back down and closed my eyes.

 

 

I couldn't sleep. It didn't help that a small rabbit was sniffing my ear.

 

 

"Hello." I went to stroke its head but it nipped my finger. "Ow!" There were more rabbits, and they were lining up, four abreast and in several rows. "What's happening?" The sleeping bag began to move, and even though I tried I couldn't get out.

 

 

The rabbits ran ahead, pulling several thin cords attached to my sleeping bag. They were really fast as well. The ground was bumpy, but I didn't care. Riding a sleeping bag across the ground is good fun. It didn't occur to me that we could hit one of the trees until we entered the forest. We whizzed through the birch trees where Erestor and I had walked earlier. There were several hairpin swerves where my sleeping bag nearly went one way and myself the other, even though I was trapped inside.

 

 

Further into the forest stood huge, wide branched beech trees, great gnarly oaks, and stately ash trees, so high they looked as if they might touch the sky. All the while my sleeping bag fairly flew across the forest floor. Birds rose in swarms from the canopy as we passed, and I thought I saw a wild boar jump backwards in surprise. We flew past a small lake covered in waterlillies; there were no ducks or swans, they were probably snuggled somewhere and fast asleep.

 

 

It was really odd. As we went further into the forest it became lighter, even though it was night time. Even odder, we ended up at the mysterious  dwelling. How had it taken longer to get here than when Erestor and I saw it earlier? It was something to ponder.

 

 

The rabbits came to an abrupt stop, but my sleeping bag carried on. I nearly hit the door full force, yelling loudly because it would hurt; however, at the last moment the door swung open and I skidded across a wooden floor, coming to a stop near the feet of an old man.

 

 

"Ah, Lindir. There you are. I have been waiting for you. I am Radagast." He peered down at me, eyes twinkling as if he already knew me. A bird sat on top of his head and another tweeted from behind his long brown beard. "Are you going to sit in your sleeping bag all night?" He touched the bag and the lines disappeared.

 

 

"Why am I here? When Father finds out I am gone he is going to be extremely annoyed. I am already going to be in trouble for a trick Erestor has played on my brothers and sister." The sleeping bag rolled itself up and jumped onto a shelf while I looked on fascinated.

 

 

"You have spirit." Radagast chuckled and asked if I wanted a drink. He went over to a cabinet, pulled out a glass, wiped it with a dirty cloth, and poured a small amount of liquid into it. I didn't really want it, but it seemed rude to refuse, especially when he poured himself some in another dirty glass. "Miruvor. Your father makes it. The recipe is known only to him. Once a year, on Midsummer's Eve, Yavanna scatters her blessings across the lawns of Imladris and they grow as a carpet of flowers."

 

 

"I have never seen them." He handed me a glass. "Thank you. It smells lovely."

 

 

"The blossoms are harvested as soon as they open, but only when Ithil's light is shining upon them. If a cloud passes, no matter how slight and wispy it might be, everyone stands up and waits for it to pass."

 

 

"What if it is really thick cloud and raining?"

 

 

"That has never happened. Lady Yavanna is not going to waste a sowing just to have it rendered useless by bad weather. I believe Lord Manwë blows the clouds away before the flowers grow. Sometimes a stray wisp floats by but there is never heavy cloud cover or rain." Radagast drank a sip from his glass. "Magnificent."

 

 

"Does Yavanna grow flowers for you to pick as well?" I tried some of the Miruvor. A warm rush radiated from my middle down into my arms and legs, and I felt like jumping for joy, really high and I wanted to laugh, so I did.

 

 

"Your father makes a small bottle for me every year, which is delivered by my friend, Gandalf. I use it for sick animals and for when strength is needed for mind and body."

 

 

"I am strong enough. I didn't really need any of this, but I am glad you gave some to me."

 

 

"One never knows when they will need strength, or if what they already have is enough. You will need great might, young Lindir."

 

 

"Why? Are you going to make me wash everything in your house or something?" I know I was being rude, but it wasn't very clean even though it was tidy, plus it also smelt a bit sharp, as if a horse had pooed in there. The walls looked as if they might be made of tree branches and the floor was covered in leaves blown in from outside. I suspect he didn't own a broom.

 

 

Radagast smiled. "Lindir, you are here because your father desires that I tell you some important information concerning who you are. He was due to meet us here yesterday." He looked concerned; his fingers clutched the back of a chair. I don't think he realised he was doing it. A flurry of feathers broke the spell as an owl flew through a flap hanging on the wall. It landed beside Radagast, before hopping onto his shoulder. They seemed to be talking.

 

 

"Your father has been delayed, so I am to tell you anyway. The secrecy of years must come to an end this night."

 

 

I knew that Adar wasn't my real father and I wondered who Radagast could be talking about. Maybe Lord Gildor was my real father and gave me to my new family because he thought I would be safer not travelling with the Wanderers. However, that did not explain why so many elflings did travel with them and came to no harm whatsoever.

 

 

Last time Lord Gildor came to Imladris he brought me a sun hat which he wove himself out of straw. I really liked it and would still if Arwen hadn't knocked it off my head 'for a joke'. It flew out the window and landed near Asfaloth, who picked it up with his great big horsey teeth. I ran downstairs and saw Glorfindel trying to wrestle it away from him without much luck. The hat was ruined, so I wrote to Lord Gildor and told him what my ratbag sister had done. He said that when he visited next he would give me two hats just in case she did it again. Because he likes to think the best of everybody, he said he was sure Arwen didn't mean my hat to fly out of the window, but she did.

 

 

"Is Lord Gildor my real father?" I asked hopefully.

 

 

Radagast looked surprised. "No, of course not. Why would you think that?"

 

 

"Oh." That was all I could say.

 

 

"You had two mothers. One of them was your real nana and the other one acted as your nana to carry out a fantastic deception."

 

 

"My real mother is dead. The other one sailed."

 

 

Radagast smiled, as if to say I was wrong. "Your origins are hidden in secrecy. This was to ensure your safety until you came of age, but that might not be possible now. You need to know that which has long been hidden. This is earlier than your real father would have liked, but events further abroad have made such a measure necessary. You may be called to the fore before you are truly ready. All the great races and beings in Middle-earth had to believe the deception, otherwise your real father could not have carried out the work he is doing, but, somehow, the forces of darkness have become aware. One day, if your father fails, you will..."

 

 

There was a huge crash outside. Taking no heed of Radagast I ran to the window. "There's a huge plant with twisty vines outside having a fight with a tree." A huge shape loomed near to the window and I jumped back in surprise. "SPIDER!"

 

 

Radagast caught hold of me. "Drink the rest of the Miruvor; it will give you courage. I did not bring you here to die."

 

 

I swilled the rest of the clear spirit in one gulp and immediately a surge of warmth flew through my body. Oddly though, I felt as if someone was inside me. I knew now where the voice had come from when I told Erestor that I needed to see Radagast when we were walking in the forest.

 

 

"You are feeling your true self," Radagast said, looking awed. "My true self is within me as well, as is your father's. The amulet beneath your skin has unlocked that which was once dormant."

 

 

I was too busy thinking about how to escape the danger than to think about what it might mean.

 

 

"The spiders are climbing the walls. We need to get out of here." A twisting vine shot through the flap where the owl had flown in. Radagast said some words and the plant retreated rapidly as if stung.

 

 

"We have enough time to go underground." The rug was pulled away, with some difficulty because it stuck to the floor and made sticky ripping noises as it came up. Radagast opened a trapdoor. From his pocket he took a bottle full of swirling liquid stars that lit up the room. "Quick. Down here."

 

 

We were in a small room, smelling of earth and walled by tree roots. The trapdoor slammed shut. Radagast kept the big iron closing ring in his hand, continuing to pull down while he muttered to himself. Whatever was in the room above was trying to pull the door up. The noise became so loud that the Miruvor failed and I felt terrified.

 

 

Malevolent chittering from the spiders and shrill slapping noises from the plants drummed down from overhead as Radagast continued to mutter words that seemed familiar, even though I had never heard them before. Drips of poison seeped through the edges of the door. A root from a nearby tree wound around my waist and pulled me sharply away as I cried out in terror. It let me go. The poison fell where I had been standing.

 

 

"Thank you." It seemed silly talking to a tree root; we elves always chatter to trees but we never talk to their feet. The root moved slightly, I suppose to let me know it had heard.

 

 

The noise built to a crescendo and I feared the worst. Not a drop of the filthy green poison had fallen on Radagast. He continued to mutter and then his words grew louder and I found myself joining in, uttering words I had no knowledge of, nor any idea as to meaning, until everything suddenly stopped. I could hear the spiders fleeing and the plants slithering away and wondered how we would be able to go back through the trapdoor with so much poison around.

 

 

"It seems they were sent to scare us." Radagast looked at me quizzically. "You didn't think we would die, did you? I must admit, I was wondering when you would take part and join in."

 

 

"What? Why would you think that?"

 

 

Radagast gave me an odd look. "We cannot go back into the house, it is too dangerous. We must make our way to the valley floor where your family are sleeping. They might be awake now; the sleep enchantment only worked until you reached the forest proper."

 

 

"How are we going to do that?"

 

 

The tree roots at one end of the small room opened, creating a tunnel with a bumpy floor. My feet kept slipping at first, but I soon got used to it. I suspect Radagast used this sort of tunnel a lot because he skipped nimbly along without a care for what had gone on before.

 

 

We carried on for quite a way. The tree roots seemed to grow older as we walked. Radagast seemed concerned. "This is not the way to the valley floor, but I suppose the trees know where they are leading us. They have never led me falsely before."

 

 


	12. Captured!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You are our prisoners..."

 

The tunnel ended at an empty glade. The air smelt foul. "Go back," Radagast said quickly as he was halfway out of the hole. A huge orc grabbed him before he could say anything further. A massive, brawny hand grabbed my arm and pulled me above ground.

 

 

"You are our prisoners," the orc next to me bellowed. His breath smelt of rotting meat and he had weevils curling inbetween the gaps of his black stumpy teeth. Happily, he was a little bit shorter than me so his stinky breath did not go in my face after I was able to stand up.

 

 

I was really, really frightened and my heart felt as if it was in my mouth. There weren’t just two orcs but a whole group of them. They taunted me about my long blond hair and they pulled the bird from under Radagast's beard and wrung its neck. He said nothing, but his face looked heartbroken as they flung it on the ground. I picked it up after making out to stumble and put bird in his hand. He gently placed it in his pocket where the bottle of stars lamp was and muttered a few words. The orcs did not notice the outside of his robe moving slightly, but I did. Who was this wizard who could bring back animals from the dead, I wondered.

 

 

The orcs spent much of their time arguing with each other, that is what is sounded like to me anyway. They led us away, hands tied behind our backs, and making as much noise as they could. I hoped that they were so loud the elves could hear. Father would tell Glorfindel and Erestor to rescue me. I know he doesn't like me that much but he wouldn't let me be taken by orcs without a fight. He really hates them. Elladan and Elrohir would probably join them because they love killing orcs; I doubt they would save me though.

 

 

It was worth a go. "HELP!" I shouted at the top of my voice. A rough hand slammed across my face and I was told to hold my tongue or else it would be cut out. I looked at Radagast, he was mumbling to himself. The orcs laughed at him and called him mad for doing so. His mumbling became louder and I felt compelled, once again, to join in as the amulet in my chest throbbed in time with my heart. The ground shook as tree roots erupted from underground, casting huge chunks of soils through the air, before slamming into the orcs and driving their bodies against the great gnarled trunks, killing them instantly. Radagast and I ran into a clearing, just in case we became injured.

 

 

A flicker of pure terror passed across Radagast's face before he maintained his composure. In front of us sat nine riders on black horses.

 

 

"Nazgul," Radagast whispered. "The one in front is the Witch King of Angmar. He is their leader and more dangerous than the rest put together." He straightened himself up and put his arm around my shoulders.

 

 

"Why are they here?"

 

 

"Why are you here and what is the meaning of this?" Radagast demanded loudly, as if hoping to be overheard by the elves. Surely they must be nearby now, I thought.

 

 

A thin, wiry voice, which seemed to be on the verge of suddenly snapping, replied. "You know why we are here. Give the boy to me. My master desires his presence and that of who he is within."

 

 

"Over my dead body!" Radagast straightened even more and took a catapult out of his pocket. As he let go of the sling he screeched several loud noises, sounding like a ruffled bird. I have no idea why he did that.

 

 

"Really?" The Witch King caught the stone in his hand and crumbled it to dust.

 

 

Within myself was a voice demanding to break free. I did not know how to let it go. The amulet was hurting, its edges burning fiercely.

 

 

"Let that which is inside guide you," Radagast said urgently. Then he started chanting, which seemed to unnerve the riders somewhat, but the Witch King held fast.

 

 

"How do I do it?"

 

 

"It will come," he said hurriedly before maintaining his chant.

 

 

"Have you both finished talking?" the Witch king asked pleasantly. "Because I rather like the idea of taking young Lindir over your dead body."

 

 

"It is done," Radagast announced. At the edges of the trees tiny tinges of light seeped through the canopy. "His power diminishes in the daylight, although he is still powerful. We now have a chance, at least."

 

 

"You have no chance," the Witch King taunted. He drew his sword; flames licked across the blade, bright yellow and orange forks. "You said over your dead body."

 

Radagast rose up in the air, eyes rolling upwards as the Witch King pointed his sword at us. I tried to pull him down but the influence of the sword was too strong for me. What was I to do, I wondered. Fearfully I looked at the Witch King and then away so he couldn't see how scared I was. The sword vibrated causing the Witch King's hand to shake slightly, and the flames grew higher and longer. It seemed to grow longer, as if the Witch King was holding a large branch covered in fire. My face felt hot, as if burning in the noonday sun, so I crouched to make myself smaller, hoping he wouldn't notice me.

 

The sword quivered so hard I could hear it humming - a strange, low hum, not like an arrow but like the one that is heard when pressing an ear to a standing stone. The Witch King struggled to hold onto it, such was the ferocity of its power. Radagast still resisted, mumbling words similar to the ones he used in his cottage. I have only known such terror once before and the memory made me feel sick and faint. Wiping the sweat from my forehead I tried to remember what happened back then and how I survived, but it was no good all I could think of was how I could survive what was happening now. In front of me good and evil faced one another and I was stuck in the middle. I hoped with all my heart that Radagast could resist the evil intent of the sword and its master, otherwise my life would be even worse than it was now.

 

Radagast began another incantation, causing the Witch King to concentrate even harder while I shook and tried not to lose control. There was no hope of help coming because everyone had been asleep when I left them. How I wished I hadn't woken up. A small part of me suggested the whole thing might be a dream, but I knew in my heart that everything was real. It tore into me that I might not survive and I wondered why I was alive just to die in a forest with everyone unaware that I was no more. Would they find me? The tears dripped down my cheeks. "Fight him," I urged. "Don't let him kill us. I want to live!" Within my chest I could hear my own voice calling to me.

 

The Witch King was unable to do anything to Radagast with his sword. He lowered it, but Radagast remained high in the air. I looked at him as he announced that he no longer cared to kill Radagast with his blade, as if he had not intended to do so anyway, instead he would throw him beyond the forest and let the wild animals devour his body. Perhaps this was my chance to escape. The trees would catch us and we would be all right. I stood up and tried to grab the hem of Radagast's robe, while he flipped downwards to catch hold of my arm, but we both missed. Radagast soared upwards, above the clearing, before shooting off in the direction of the Dimrill Dale. I will never forget his roar of terror; he had tried to hold back but had finally let go. I consoled myself by reasoning that the wild animals were his friends; they would make sure he was all right, so long as the fall did not kill him. Anything, even severe injury, was preferable to being here.

 

 


	13. The Witch King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "His thin voice dripped like poisoned honey."

 

 

I was alone with an angry Witch King and his eight mates. The voice inside me grew more urgent, and as it did I could hear it more clearly. ' _Let me talk through you_.'

 

 

"Lindir, do not try to run away. My master desires your presence and so it shall happen." His voice was calm, as if he had already won.

 

 

"Why would your master be interested in me?" My voice was changing, becoming stronger.

 

 

"The voice inside you knows why." His horse's tail swished from side to side, no doubt to put me off, but I was not speaking anymore, whoever was inside me now had control.

 

 

"Answer me!" I nearly pooed my leggings, it's definitely not what I would have normally said.

 

 

"I will indulge you Lindir, because I know it is not you speaking. My master is Sauron. He will be your master too."

 

 

"Who is Sauron?" I asked the voice inside myself. The voice replied that it was the name of the one whose name we do not mention. "Oops."

 

 

"You will not find it easy to take Lindir," the voice inside me taunted. I wondered just how he was going to achieve my escape, or if he was bluffing.

 

 

"My master desires that Lindir knows who his true parents are. He has two mothers but only one of them has the right to that name."

 

 

"Well, I already know who that was. Gildor's captain was my real mother." I had him there. The voice inside asked me to let him speak and not interrupt.

 

 

"Celebrían was your true mother, and that is why your brothers and sister hate you. Gildor's captain was merely your bodyguard, put in place to care for you because Celebrían could not face her husband with the guilt of her infidelity. Wouldn't you like to pay them all back for the petty, thoughtless cruelties they inflict upon you every day through no fault of your own? After all, you are an innocent." He rode forward a few yards nearer. "My master would like you to be his son. He will give you all that you desire and even more. Gold, riches, anything you demand - even his love." His thin voice dripped like poisoned honey. The hairs on my neck stood proud.

 

 

"Why would he do that for me? There must be some other reason? After all, he is the epitome of evil, and he hangs around with things like you." That was not me speaking. I wondered if the voice from inside would get us both killed.

 

 

"Thing? Thing? I am not a thing. I am the Witch King!" Oh dear, he was offended. "Apologise immediately, or else things will go extremely bad for you."

 

 

"Your master wouldn't like it if things did go that way," the voice inside taunted. "You have already said he wants Lindir as his son."

 

 

The light spilt over the tops of the trees and shone in columnar beams down to the floor of the glade. The Nazgul seemed dismayed but stood their ground. The Witch King moved his horse to where the light was less intense.

 

 

"If you refuse, I have orders to kill you. I have already killed that fool of a wizard. This is your last chance." He crooked a bony finger that seemed only half there and beckoned.

 

 

With a rush the voice inside me took over completely. Strange words issued from my mouth and my hands made small motions before pointing to one of the lesser Nazgul. His black robe burst into flames. The horse reared up in terror and charged off into the forest. I do not know where he went but the company was now only eight strong.

 

 

The Witch King looked more than unsettled. "How did you do that? You are not strong enough yet. You are only a boy."

 

 

I had no idea but the voice inside kept talking through me, effectively ignoring him. I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a cheeky stare, assuming that we would shortly be setting fire to another one of his mates.

 

 

"Why you..." Swiftly the Witch King charged towards me, his horse passing by as his bony, filmy fingers grabbed my wrist. He let go as fire tore up his arm, the voice still chanted from my lips. His horse reared back and he nearly fell off. Then his hood gave way and I gasped. There was no head, except for a pair of fiery red eyes under a floating crown. The hood went back on as soon as it came off.

 

 

From the side of the glade came a voice I knew. Gandalf ran into the clearing brandishing his staff. "Get away from him. He is not for the likes of you, or your foul master."

 

"Sauron is not going to be very happy with the way you speak about him," the Witch King replied. "You never say anything nice, and yet you have never met him."

 

"Not in this form," Gandalf replied. I had no idea what he meant. I didn't have time to ponder either. Gandalf drove his staff into the ground and a wide, deep chasm opened up, corrugating the ground and separating us from the Nazgul on the other side. He turned to me. "This is your moment. You must become yourself. I will help you this time, but in future you will have to learn how to set yourself free." He touched my forehead and everything changed.

 

Light consumed my being and the voice that spoke through me was now part of me. I knew who I was. No Witch King could defeat me.

 

"See me in my true form," my voice thundered, the amulet on my chest standing proud. The Witch King gazed upon it, transfixed. Gandalf looked proudly on. "Go now. Flee for your very existences. Today is not the day for you to die, but it will happen. The Ringwraiths shall be no more and neither shall their master." Looking up at the sky I called upon the fires of Anor to scourge the evil from the forest. A trail of fire tore after the fleeing Nazgul. Their clothing burnt, but by then they were shapeless rags, leading me to suspect they had abandoned physical form and fled naked back to whence they came.

 

"We will not see them again for a good long while," Gandalf said with a smile as I changed back into my Lindir form. The air was still, unnaturally so, but we both smiled with relief.

"I thought I was for it until the voice inside me starting talking. Even then I wondered if I would be able to escape. I hope Radagast is all right." Up above the tree canopy the leaves rustled, as if a cleansing breeze flowed through them. A wood pigeon called for its mate, and I could hear the snuffling of a wild pig a few trees away. The forest was coming back to life. The danger had passed. We had nothing to fear.

 

I was just about to turn my back to walk away when Gandalf's smile turned to an expression of horror. Before I could react an unseen force smashed into my chest, hurling me backward. My face was hit by what felt like an invisible hand as I fell down. The back of my head smacked off a tree root; I didn't feel it at first but a few moments later I was howling in pain.

 

"Get off him!" Gandalf yelled as he hit the air with his staff. The unseen force punched me in the belly and I threw up, but no further violence came from the invisible one. Gandalf swung his staff sideways and I heard the thud as something was knocked sideways.

 

"Here he is," Glorfindel shouted. He pulled me away, around the side of the tree. I was safe.

 

Everything was turning in circles. The pain in my head made me cry, but at least I could hear my own voice again. There was a fading bellow of anger, and I saw the chasm that Gandalf's staff had created snap shut. He announced that the Witch King had been defeated just before I vomited again. Elladan knelt down beside me. He felt my head and looked at Glorfindel. All I could see was his green beard! Erestor's spell had worked. Even though my head was killing me I couldn't stop laughing as I cried.

 

"What?" Elladan looked at me before turning to Glorfindel. "He is delirious. We had better get him back."

 

 


	14. The Poisoned Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you being so nice to me?"

The Witch King had touched me, infecting me with his poison. I was only half aware of Father trying to keep me still as he examined me. He gave me some Miruvor, which seemed to help me concentrate and relieve the terrible headache and confusion somewhat, but it was only a temporary measure. I am not a small forest animal so the life rescuing effect was less pronounced.

 

I couldn't walk. Arwen held me in her arms as everyone packed urgently, our stay in Dimrill Dale cut short by necessity. "According to Gandalf you are like Melian," she trilled. "She was one of my grandmothers from a long time ago and a Maia. She looked like an elf but wasn't one really."

 

I wondered why she wasn't yelling at me; she had a huge purple beard growing from her chin with a moustache that would shame a dwarf. I began to giggle.

 

"Poor you. Father said the blow to your head sent your brain a bit funny. Still, the Witch King fell down the hole that Gandalf made and he is trapped there. No doubt he will be able to get out at some point, but I shouldn't imagine it would be soon. Apparently, he can be heard yelling underground."

 

"I feel sick." She held a bowl under my chin and wiped my face when I finished.

 

"Erestor and Glorfindel saw you disappearing into the forest. They said that you were in your sleeping bag and it was being pulled by a load of rabbits. They must think we are soft in the head to believe something like that. Anyway, they were unable to follow immediately, apparently they couldn't move and they had to wake their arms and legs up. They followed you shortly after to an old shack that was being attacked by spiders and huge plants. Honestly, they have such imaginations those two. You would think what really happened would be enough. Why they didn't say they couldn't find you is beyond me."

 

"I was inside when the plants and spiders attacked. Radagast and I had to escape through a trapdoor underground."

 

"Oh! Well, anyway, they came back to get reinforcements. The warriors piled into the forest and were still looking for you when they saw Gandalf's friend, you know, that weird, 'I only talk to animals' wizard mate of his, flying over the top of the trees yelling for all he was worth. Erestor told the trees to grab him, which they did, and he asked him where you were. He was a bit stunned, but Erestor got it out of him in the end. That is how they found you. Elrohir and Elladan are a bit disappointed that you killed all the orcs, but they cannot have everything."

 

"I didn't kill them; the trees did."

 

Arwen shook her head and sighed. "Yes you did. Radagast said you did. I should think he knows a bit more about it than you, after all you are the one who is ill, not him." If Radagast wanted them to believe I killed the orcs then who was I to argue. Arwen hugged me closer, causing me to be more suspicious than I was already. Normally she is threatening dire things, not being the sister I used to know.

 

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

 

"I have decided to like you again. Anyway, Father says that you resisted the Witch King. Apparently he promised you vengeance on your brothers: we both know I have never done anything horrible to you. He said you refused and replied that you would rather die. He said that was before you knew you could become the being made of light." Her voice lowered to a whisper and in her eyes I saw the fear. "Gandalf said you are half-Maia."

 

I nodded. Arwen was scared of what could have happened and who I might choose to be, making me wonder just how terrible things could have been. I did not like to think of it, so I closed my eyes and concentrated on not being sick.


	15. The Invisible Beard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "There's Haldir," Arwen sighed. "He's so handsome and brave."

 

Just before we left, a whole host of warriors from Lothlórien turned up. They were led by a personable, to the point of being cocky, Marchwarden called Haldir. He spoke to everyone as if he had known them all his life and they were best friends.

 

"There's Haldir," Arwen sighed. "He's so handsome and brave." She sighed again and then her eyes lit up. "He winked at me."

 

"Wink back."

 

"That would be unseemly." She giggled coyly, because he was staring at her, no doubt mesmerised by her beard.

 

Glorfindel walked over to us. "I will take him from here." Arwen scampered off in Haldir's direction as fast as her legs would take her. "Look at her run," he said grinning for all he was worth. "I doubt Haldir will look at her now she has an excess of facial hair."

 

"I was wondering about that. She doesn't seem to know she has a beard."

 

"That was the beauty of Erestor's enchantment. She cannot see it but everyone else can. Not even in a mirror. It's the same for your brothers as well. Your father isn't getting involved, he thinks they brought it upon themselves, although I have stressed to him that Erestor was responsible."

 

"Won't Erestor be in trouble?"

 

"Seriously? Have you ever known Erestor to be in trouble?"

 

"Well, even though they cannot see their beards, they must know about them because everyone else will have told them they are there."

 

"I think they believe it is some elaborate practical joke. What they cannot see or feel, they do not believe."

 

Glorfindel picked me up. My body was weaker than a baby's. "You can ride with Master Melpomaen for part of the way. We have about eighty miles to go."

 

"Do I have to? He will complain about his sore bottom all the way there."

 

"Master Melpomaen surprised us all on several levels. He volunteered to help look for you, which amazed us. Then he showed us his sword, a fine blade forged by the Westernesse smiths. What is more, he knows how to use it, which was completely unexpected. We were attacked by several giant spiders while making our way to you. Melpomaen dived in and attacked without any thought for his own safety and killed them outright with just a few strokes of his sword. Not that any evil being can tolerate a Westernesse blade, for they are the bane of Mordor and all who let evil rule their hearts."

 

"Who would have thought it?" I had no inkling that Master Melpomaen was so inclined.

 

"Of course, Gandalf knew."

 

I rode with Master Melpomaen for a few miles. He skilfully deflected any questions about his prowess as a fighter and told me to sleep. "I would love Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn to hear your beautiful voice. They will have to go without if you do not get better quickly. Try to sleep. There's a good boy."

 

I protested but sleep overtook me anyway. When I woke up I was sitting on Elrohir's horse.

 

"Where am I?"

 

"We have a long way to go yet. Try to go back to sleep." Elrohir's voice was softer than his usual tone. It didn't occur to me to see what colour beard he had.

 

"I have just been asleep." My head throbbed and I still felt sick, moreover I felt chilled to the bone, even though I was being held close. It was better to try and nod off.

 

When I woke again Glorfindel was holding me. It was like pass the parcel, except I was not covered in wrapping paper that everyone was trying to remove when the music stopped. There was no music either. I looked at him and my eyes shut again. The world was spinning and Glorfindel was calling to Father that we had to stop.

 

"Lindir," Adar's voice called urgently. My eyes opened a fraction. "Stay with us Lindir." I just about heard Adar saying that the sickness was making me so weak I might not survive. A few sips of Miruvor were placed on my tongue and I awoke. My clothes were wet with sweat and I couldn't stop shaking.

 

"I am so cold," I croaked. Father gave me some more Miruvor, a large swig which finished the bottle and warmed my belly, but my arms and legs still felt like ice.

 

As I slipped into blackness I felt Adar's arms tighten around me. His horse galloped beneath us, much swifter than before. He called to the others but I had no idea what he said except that his voice sounded urgent.

 

_Don't let me die..._

 

 


	16. Galadriel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe you were not born to save your mother."

[ ](http://photobucket.com/)

_Grandnana hugged me close as we approached her talan. "You have nothing to worry about..."_

 

 

I awoke in a soft bed with even softer linens. Everything felt so comfortable and warm. Gone was the pain and shaking, instead a contented peace engulfed me. Sunlight streamed through the open windows, illuminating some of the flowers carved into the cream and gold painted wall.

 

Grandnana sat beside me. She smiled and took hold of my hand before pulling me close and giving me a huge cuddle. "Hello, are you feeling all right? We have been so worried about you." She smelt of newly opened violets waiting for a visit from a bee.

 

"Hello Grandnana." I gave her my best smile. "I'm starving."

 

"You should be feeling much better now, according to your father anyway. We have been waiting for you to wake up."

 

"How long have I been asleep?"

 

"For the past seven days. You can get up if you want." She helped me put on my dressing gown, even though I did not need her to. "Your father said that if you exert yourself you will have to go back to bed. So don't overdo it, all right?"

 

"Grandnana, I prefer to be up and not in bed. When I go to bed I fall asleep, but I want to stay awake and find out what's happening."

 

"Nothing has been happening. We have been waiting for you to wake up." She took my hand and led me from the room. My legs felt a bit wobbly but I hadn't used them for a week. They would have to get used to walking again.

 

The sun was shining, but a stiff wind blew through the trees, making the leaves rustle and the branches creak. Several low, dark clouds were nearing the forest, and with them a band of rain. The air smelt sweet, of wet earth, even though no drops had fallen yet.

 

"Grandnana, I thought the weather here was always lovely. A rainstorm is coming."

 

"Rain is necessary to life. The weather is normally nice here but sometimes we have to go without endless days of sunshine just so the crops can be watered. The trees also like a drink."

 

"Grandnana? Do you think that when Melian put her girdle around the land that she stopped the rain and made the plants grow by magic?"

 

"I doubt it." Grandnana laughed.

 

"You know the Valar?"

 

"Not personally, but go on."

 

"Do you think they like rain? Or, do you think it is always sunny in Aman?"

 

"When I lived there the weather was wonderful. I remember hot sunny days when I was a little girl, but there must have been rain sometimes because I remember fields of wheat and running around in the wildflower meadows. Some flowers need rain so their petals can open."

 

"Maybe the Valar made the crops and flowers grow, so they could keep the sun going all the time."

 

"Maybe they did." Grandnana smiled, as if remembering a happier time. "It was a long time ago."

 

"What's it like being so old, Grandnana?"

 

"It's the same as being very young. I feel no different. When you are older you probably won't feel any different either."

 

"Grandnana," I said in a quiet voice. "There is another me living inside my body and I do not know what to do about it."

 

"Yes, I know. Do not be frightened of that which is part of you."

 

"It scares me a bit."

 

"Can you remember what happened when you saw the Witch King?"

 

"Not much of it, but I know I became someone else."

 

"We are going to talk about that soon." Grandnana hugged me close as we approached her talan. "You have nothing to worry about. Your inner self saved your life."

 

"Grandnana, if that is true, then why couldn't I save Nana when the orcs attacked her?"

 

  
Grandnana's face was unreadable apart from the slight flash of grief in her eyes. "Maybe you were not born to save your mother."

 

 

"I don't understand." I gripped her hand a little harder and she squeezed mine in return. I think we both needed to hold hands at that point.

 

 

"Perhaps you will after talking to your Father." Grandnana smiled at me and I knew that she was the elf I trusted most in the whole word. It was like I was on the edge of something exciting, but maybe not in a good way. Grandnana would make sure everything was all right.

 

 

 


	17. Secrets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You do not have to tell anyone in this room what happened. Sometimes the pain is so great that we should not give life to it with words."

 

 

We climbed the steps to Grandnana's home in the mighty mallorn tree, the biggest in the forest. It looks as if the tree grew a hollow in the trunk especially for the palace to fit into. We went through the mighty mallorn wood doors into a large hall, before going into a side room where Grandnana likes to sit with family.

 

 

"There  he is!" Gandalf bounded across the room. He picked me up and swung me around, his face beaming with joy. "Come and sit next to me."

 

 

I sat in between Grandada Celeborn and Gandalf. Grandada hugged me and said how brave I was, which made me feel all sorts of happy inside. Elladan sat beside Grandnana, his pink hair showing even more black growth at the roots. He was minus his beard, as was Elrohir and Arwen. I felt a little bit disappointed because I hadn't seen the colour of Elrohir's beard, but he could always grow another one in the future.

 

 

Father smiled and agreed with Grandada that I had been very brave, but he wondered if I was truly safe now I was known to the enemy.

 

 

"He was already known to them," Gandalf told him, his face so serious I wondered if I was going to be blamed for it. "A confidant of mine may have proved not to be the person I thought he was." Adar asked him who he meant but Gandalf refused to discuss it further, saying he had no evidence of wrongdoing yet, but his suspicion was enough to be careful when speaking to him again.

 

 

"Events in the past need to be explained now, so that we can put away the discord that has slowly eaten away at our family's heart. Lindir has the right to know who he is, and his brothers and sister need to know about their brother." Grandnana looked at Adar whose lips were thin, as if he was trying not to be upset. "Elrond, Celebrían was Lindir's mother."

 

 

"But..." That was the first I knew of it. Surely Grandnana was wrong. My mother was Gildor's captain; I know because she said so, and she wouldn't have loved me as much if she wasn't.

 

 

"Lindir," Grandnana said gently. "There is much that is untold. Around your birth lies a great mystery and a huge deception. Now is the time to listen and find out who you really are." She smiled and reached across Gandalf to squeeze my hand. "You are sitting next to your real father."

 

 

Gandalf beamed at me, his cheeks rosy and his eyes shining with happiness. I looked into his eyes for the first time and saw that he had some other being inside him as well. Grandnana was telling the truth.

 

 

Adar sat bolt upright, staring at us, as if he had been shot with an arrow through the heart. "I knew," he said softly, before sighing and looking down. Elladan asked him what he meant; he is not very bright.

 

 

"Perhaps I should carry on from here," Gandalf said, his voice cutting through Arwen's, who was loudly whispering in Adar's ear whilst looking sideways at us. Elrohir glared at me: so much for having turned over a new leaf.

 

 

The room went quiet when Grandada agreed. "Lindir must know his real identity, who he really is. Everyone here needs to know as well. There is not a day where my heart does not ache for my daughter, yet she did what was right. The cause of the free peoples of Middle-earth goes beyond the lives of a handful of elves, no matter how important they think they are. Mithrandir, please proceed."

 

 

Gandalf took a deep breath. "I was sent here along with four other wizards to help in the fight against the one whose name we do not mention. Two of the wizards are now lost, so long ago their names are quite lost to me. Only Saruman and Radagast remain, along with myself. According to one of the stronger strands of Lord Eru's song, I will be killed at some point in the future and Saruman will be lost to us as well. Increasingly, the strand is becoming reality, so I must face the strong possibility of my own demise in the future. Given the loss of two wizards already, the Valar decided that another should be born; one who understood the cause of the elves intimately, because he was half one himself, and who would be able to step into my role if I fail. Lindir is a Maia, even though he is clothed as an elf. He will continue to assume this disguise, if that is the appropriate word, until times of great peril force him to reveal his true self, as happened recently with the Witch King."

 

 

"Lindir has been marked by the Witch King," Adar said. "Will that not bode ill for him in future?"

 

 

"Where am I marked?"

 

 

"Inside."

 

 

"Lindir is indeed marked, but that is all. The Witch King is unable to exert any influence upon him, simply because Lindir's spirit is far stronger than his." Gandalf looked at me. "No need to look so worried."

 

 

Grandnana laughed. "Mithrandir, poor Lindir is being beset with too much information. You need to bring it together so he understands."

 

 

"Lindir was originally born in Valinor. The birth of a baby Maia is a rare event and so there was much celebration. Lord Manwë decided that the Valar should educate my son and teach him all he would need to know. My wife and I had him for a few precious years before he was taken away to learn from those greater than us. We were bereft, but who can go against the Valar, and who would want to? One day, Lindir would choose which Vala to serve, and so it was right that he should learn all he could. We watched from afar as he grew in power and stature, both of us wondering if we really knew him anymore as he became his own person."

 

 

“The day came when Lord Aulë took over Lindir's education. A sense of foreboding filled my heart. I knew I would never see him again.  Not in Valinor anyway. Shortly after, our precious son entered the Halls of Mandos. His body was destroyed, whereas his spirit was damaged but still intact. My wife and I were informed of an accident at the foundry. Lindir was not the only Maia affected that day; the one who was once called Mairon was standing before him and his spirit was damaged beyond repair. You can imagine my joy when Lindir was born here. I saw my son again."

 

 

"What about your wife? What happened to her? Is she all alone now?" Arwen asked.

 

 

"My wife entered the service of Lady Nienna where she could recover from her grief. I could not comfort her because her heart was broken. Lord Manwë decided that I should travel to Middle-earth with the other wizards, telling me that one day I would see Lindir again because Lord Eru had sung his song and foretold that I would. That helped somewhat to ease the gaping hole in my heart. I need not tell you of the joy I felt when I saw him again. One look at his big blue baby eyes and..." Gandalf stopped talking. He sucked in his lips so we couldn't see them anymore, before releasing a huge breath and continuing. "Lord Manwë decided that Lindir should be born to an elven woman, whose position was such that he would have the ultimate protection during his formative years." He looked at Adar. "The part of my heart where Lindir's memory resided was taken by Lady Elbereth and given to Celebrían while she slept. Your wife was in full agreement but given only a few hours to consider, whereas I was given no choice at all. I awoke knowing that something was missing, but I could not remember what it was. When Lindir was born the memories came flooding back. I saw his face and knew he was mine, and where I had seen him before."

 

 

Grandnana decided to speak. "Celebrían asked Gildor to take baby Lindir and care for him. She could not bear the thought of what might seem to you as an infidelity, and considered that you would not believe no intimacy took place, simply because the circumstances were too incredible. Anyway, Gildor gave Lindir to his captain, Mirilindë, to bring up as her own. Happily, she adored him, and he loved her."

 

 

"I thought she was my real nana." I don't know why, but I began to cry. A huge growing lump filled my chest and it was hard to breathe.

 

 

Grandnana sat me on her lap and held me close before continuing. "The Valar did not intend Lindir to be anywhere other than Imladris. Celebrían was supposed to take Lindir to live in the safest elven realm, and not travel throughout Middle-earth with a nomadic group of wanderers."

 

 

"I wonder if Mirilindë was killed by fortune or design," Grandada said softly. "Either way, Gildor took Lindir to Imladris as a matter of haste."

 

 

"It is useless to speculate," Adar said. "Lindir was meant to live with us, and so it happened. I saw the joy in Celebrían's eyes and my heart knew he was hers, and yet I also knew she had not been unfaithful. I am not normally beset with enigmas I cannot solve; however..."

 

 

"Why didn't you tell Ada?" Arwen asked Gandalf.

 

 

"It could have saved a lot of bad feeling later on." Elrohir turned back to his embroidery, two dogs dressed as elves and playing cards. He shook his head as if disappointed with Gandalf's behaviour.

 

 

"Maybe if we had known Lindir was your son, our nana might not be living in Valinor." Elladan stared at Gandalf.

 

 

"I think that Lindir's parentage has little bearing on what happened," Adar said sadly. "Your mother was in the wrong place at the right time."

 

 

"Nana saved my life," I told them, the tears falling from my eyes as the memories were set free. "When the orcs captured her she told me to run, but I wasn't able to run fast enough. They caught me and hit me loads. They hurt me so badly that I couldn't walk properly, and I kept being sick and screaming as they hurt me even more. Nana pleaded with them to let me go and said they could do anything they liked to her if they did. She said she was not afraid to die."

 

 

Grandnana held me close to her chest as I sobbed. "You do not have to tell anyone in this room what happened. Sometimes the pain is so great that we should not give life to it with words."

 

 

"But I have to. Don't I? Father hardly talks to me now and my brothers and sister hate me."

 

 

"With all your magic ability, you could have at least tried to help her. You just ran away," Elladan spat.

 

 

"He was twenty years old and injured," Arwen said as if astonished. "What could he have done? He was a small elfling, and still is."

 

 

"If he can use magic now he could back then," Elrohir said primly.

 

 

"Assuming he knew how," Arwen shot back.

 

 

"He was able to save himself when he faced the Witch King," Elladan shouted. "He said himself that something was inside him. So where's the difference? Why couldn't his inner self save Nana as well?"

 

 

"Lindir was unable to access his inner being back then." Gandalf looked so angry I could imagine him exploding into little bits. "He was unable to save your mother. Don't you think he would have tried if he knew about who he was inside?"

 

 

"I couldn't stop the orcs from hurting Mother and I couldn't stop the tall elf with the cat's eyes from hurting her either," I said miserably.

 

 

Everyone looked at me. I hid my face in Grandnana's chest so I did not have to look at them.

 

 

"Come with me," Grandnana said. "We need to see what you saw."

 

 

Elladan went to say something but Father told him to be quiet, adding that what I had just said changed everything.

 

 


	18. Galadriel's Mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If I curled up into a ball they might not see me. Surely Nienna would save me?"

We stood in front of Grandnana's mirror. It's not really a mirror; I stood staring into a stone bowl filled with water, watching the surface cloud over before clearing again.

 

"Lindir, nothing in the mirror can hurt you," Grandnana said softly. "Old memories can be painful to watch, but we need to know the identity of the elf with the cat's eyes. Focus on what happened that day and we might see who he is."

 

"I already know who he is," Adar said.

 

"Me too," Gandalf sighed. "But confirmation is always useful."

 

We watched as the orcs attacked us. The rest of the party lay dead; Nana and I survived. The orcs hit Nana's face. Blood poured from her nose. She was pleading. In my mind I could hear her. "Don't hurt him. He's a baby." The orc with his fingers around my neck threw me against the wall and laughed horribly. A searing pain shot through my spine and my hand hung at a right angle so I couldn't move my fingers. Blood trickled from my swollen tongue. Everything kept going black and I could hear myself screaming, as if I was outside my body but still feeling the pain. Then a wave of agony would bring me back to waking and I would yell my terror and agony until there was no sound to make, but still my mouth opened in a silent scream. I tried to be brave and grit my teeth, but I couldn't because my mouth was full of blood. If I curled up into a ball they might not see me. Surely Nienna would save me? In the background Nana pleaded with someone I couldn't see to promise that I would be all right if she let them have what they wanted. I looked to the side and saw the orc roughly push her legs up over her torn and bloody dress.

 

A voice filled with cold anger cut through the darkness. "Leave her, she is mine." His hand pulled me up and I looked into the face of an elf whose black hair moved in curls at the ends, like the tendrils of the killer plants in Radagast's house. His slit pupils, surrounded by gold fire, bored into me, asking whether he should let me go or snap my neck. I have never felt such terror, and I have never since, not even when facing the Witch King or the poison dripping plants.

 

"You are a bad elf and I think your nana would be very disappointed with you." I did not know what else to say, and even then it came out jumbled because my tongue was so swollen. It was similar to what elves said to naughty elflings in Imladris and it was all I could think of.

 

The evil elf roared with laughter. "The wild animals can eat you," he hissed as he threw me through the entrance to the cave. "You are lucky. You have a chance. Not much of one, but a chance anyway."

 

"Sauron," Gandalf said softly, his low voice rumbling with hate. "How he must have kicked himself when he was told afterwards who you were. I was right to delay giving you that amulet."

 

"What amulet?" Elladan asked. Even though he could see how hurt I had been, he was still angry with me.

 

"The amulet that released who Lindir was inside." 

 

"His inner self could have saved Mother if you had given it to Lindir earlier."

 

"Gandalf saved Lindir's life by not giving him the amulet then," Adar said.

 

"The Witch King is a mere baby compared to the evil one, yet without the amulet setting free his inner self, Lindir could not have fought him. Indeed, with or without an amulet, Lindir would be lucky to survive Sauron." Gandalf glared at my horrid brother.

 

The mirror showed me crawling away, my injured arms dragging useless legs. The nearest tree wrapped a branch around my middle and pulled me up high. Below a warg was readying to pounce, no doubt after sniffing the blood that dripped from my wounds. The beast just missed me.

 

The tree passed me to the next tree, and so on, until I was well away from the cave. Down below I saw Elladan and Elrohir heading the greeting party that was supposed to meet our mother. That was when the tree gently lowered me down to the ground.

 

Elladan asked me where Mother was. I pointed and said that she was in a cave and being hurt. Then everything went black. I awoke in Imladris, screaming, terrified and unable to move. Father sat by me, holding my hand, trying to tell me that my arms and legs were in wooden splints so they could heal. 

 

The next scene showed Elladan telling me that I had run away and it was my fault that Nana was sailing. He said that he hated me. As I ran from the room, Elrohir slapped my head so it banged off the door frame. 

 

Finally we saw a baby that was horribly deformed and writhing as if in terrible pain. When its eyes opened they had slit pupils ringed with fire. We all gasped in shock. I felt sorry for it because the evil was so great that it couldn't bear its own existence. I do not know how I knew this, but I did. Then the mirror cleared, and we were looking at a stone bowl filled with water.

 

"How could you treat Lindir so horribly?" Arwen said to our brothers, conveniently forgetting that she had been just as awful to me for the past five years.

 

"When we rescued Nana, the evil one was not there. She was too far gone to say anything sensible, indeed, it was months before she was able to talk again. What were we supposed to think?" Elladan crossed his arms and gave Arwen a defiant look. "Anyway, you..."

 

Grandnana cut Elladan off. "My daughter had another child. Didn't she, Elrond?" 

 

Adar looked grief stricken. "Let us go back. I do not want to discuss anything out in the open where we can be overheard."


	19. The Last Secret.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We are in that number of elves who have had their lives destroyed by the evil one, and there is nothing we can do except survive and become stronger."

 

 

We walked back to the palace. Grandada held my hand and played a jumping game with me on the way back. When we had all sat down again, Father said that Nana had given birth to a baby well before it should have been born.

 

 

"Malice and pure evil cannot survive within an elf for long. The baby was unlike any I had ever seen. It exuded malevolence; if such a feeling can take physical form then the baby was the embodiment of it, yet its elven side could not bear the state and sought to reject it. My wife was attacked by Sauron, and she gave birth early, eight months later. She had been through too much. I told her the baby was dead when it was born, but it was not. Its twisted body was writhing, exuding a black hate, yet causing it great agony. The pain of its existence was killing it slowly, so that within a day it was dead. Nothing I gave the child worked to ease it's pain, and I confess that I considered ending it’s suffering. I have never heard such desperately pitiful cries. It was so deformed that I could not see whether it was male or female, nor could I sense what it should be. Maybe it was never meant to live. The celebrant of Nienna informed me that the Valar would receive the body of the baby when my wife sailed, until then I was to bury it in a box outside the bounds of the realm so the evil one could not use it to find our location. They knew she would leave even before I did." Father looked as if a huge piece of his heart had crumbled away as he put his hand to his chest. Arwen crossed the room and put her arms around him.

 

 

"There was nothing any of us could have done to prevent what happened," Arwen said softly. "We are in that number of elves who have had their lives destroyed by the evil one, and there is nothing we can do except survive and become stronger."

 

 

"It doesn't make it any easier," Grandnana said softly. "In fact it made Lindir's life much worse. He was never allowed to grieve and was shown no sympathy at all. He lost his mother, just as you all did. Even worse, he saw what happened to her. His eyes and memories were not spared, indeed they live within him to this day. Yet Lindir survived. He found elves who gave him love and were not distant, or so wrapped up in their own misery that they could not show him any feeling at all. If it were not for the care of Erestor, Glorfindel and Master Melpomaen, Lindir might not be the elfling he is today. Indeed, he has shown a resilience that others seem incapable of."

 

 

"Let us retire for the night and think on what has passed and how we will act in the future," Grandada said. He doesn't say much but everyone listens when he does. "We are elves and built of finer stuff than those who let jealousy and hatred form their foundations. Contemplation about the way forward is needed, so that we can decide how to proceed and end this disruption. It is time for change. Our family needs to heal, and it will."

 

 

Arwen came with me to my room. "I am next door if you have a nightmare, or if you need to talk to me." She kissed my cheek and gave me a hug. "I am sorry that we stopped being friends," she whispered as I went through the door. Before I could turn to reply I heard the door of her room closing.

 

 

About an hour later, Gandalf walked into my room without knocking. I am glad I was not changing into my pyjamas; he might have seen me with nothing on. I was filling in my research diaries about horrible Elladan and horrible Elrohir when he sat on the end of my bed.

 

 

"How is the research going?"

 

 

"It's all right, but I would love to know what colour beard Elrohir had when I was rescued. The experiment is incomplete until I know. Not that it was my experiment anyway. Erestor was the one who put the stuff on the potatoes to make it all happen."

 

 

"You and Erestor will have to do the experiment again to find out the answer." Gandalf's eyes twinkled. "Your brothers will come around in time. It is hard for two such proud and passionate warriors to admit they were wrong and acted badly, but it will happen. Not as soon as you would like, but in time..."

 

 

"I do not care. I do not like them at all. They have done too much for me to ever forgive them."

 

 

"For your family to survive, the hate has to stop eating at the heart of it. The love has to return, and you all have to allow that to happen. It won't happen overnight. Arwen is already trying and so is Elrond, your father."

 

 

"I thought you were my father."

 

 

"I am, but to all intents and purposes Lord Elrond is your father as well. I cannot give you the time that he can, or be the father that you want me to be. The Valar put me here to fulfil a great mission, and that is taking up all of my life. I walk the paths of danger on a constant basis, never knowing who is my true friend and who is my foe. I would not wish that for you, and so I rejoice that you have another father who would give his life for you. It may not seem so, but Lord Elrond loves you as if you were his own son."

 

 

"How do you know this?" To say I doubted Gandalf was an understatement.

 

 

"He told me. I was with him just before."

 

 

"So why didn't I know before now?"

 

 

"Because Lord Elrond is hurting as much as you are. He has also lost the one he loves the most, just as you did. Give him time. Give all your family time to heal, so you can be as you were before your life changed forever."

 

 

I wasn't very happy about it, but I agreed anyway.

 

 

"I will keep coming to visit. You are my son, after all." Gandalf laughed and said that he would look forward to hearing about my experiments and getting to know me better, so that one day I could become a great wizard like him. Now that was something to look forward to. "I do not expect you to be good all the time though. A well behaved Lindir has never existed and I do not expect it to happen in the future."

 

 

I gave Gandalf a wide grin. "I am glad I can continue my experiments. Erestor is teaching me loads."

 

 

Gandalf laughed and said that I should try to get some sleep; he would see me again in the morning.

 

 

During the night I slept badly. At one point I dreamt that I was being cursed by the Witch King. I screamed in terror and woke to find myself being held by Grandnana.

 

 

"Your father will teach you how to defend yourself from nightmares," she told me. "Now the evil one knows who you are, he will try to terrorise you through your dreams, but dreams cannot harm you, they are illusions and nothing more. He knows where this wood is situated, but he has no idea where Imladris is. When you return there he will be able to bother you no longer."

 

 

"Maybe if I sleep during the day? He might not expect me to sleep then and the nightmares he sends would fail."

 

 

Grandnana laughed. "You want to be up and running around during the day, not sleeping."

 

 

"Gandalf came to see me earlier on."

 

 

"Yes, I know. Do not concern yourself about how the others will act from now on. They are adults  and you are a child. Somewhere in Elladan and Elrohir's hearts there exists a fondness for you that has never died; it will grow again. Stay close to Erestor and Glorfindel because they are the ones whom your father, Elrond, has charged to take care of your safety. He knew from the moment he found your mother that you would need their protection; for the same reason he engaged Master Melpomaen to act as your music teacher and bodyguard for when they could not be with you." I wondered if the protection had been because of my siblings trying to harm me or because I needed to be safe from the evil one. Grandnana just smiled when I asked her.

 

 

"Grandnana, how is it that Master Melpomaen is such a good fighter when he doesn't seem like one when he is my teacher?"

 

 

"It's all a rather clever act, not that you are to tell him that you know his secret." Grandnana's eyes shone, as if she was about to tell me a huge secret, which she was. "Master Melpomaen was a warrior in Oropher's army during the last alliance of elves and men, and sometime before that he fought alongside the Númenóreans; I believe that is where he acquired his sword. He is an excellent bodyguard, simply because hardly anyone now remembers his history and everyone thinks him so inoffensive that he would baulk at harming a fly. Of course, his cover is not as intact since fighting the killer spiders in the forest."

 

 

"I won't tell anyone about him."

 

 

"I know you won't." Grandnana hugged me tight before putting me back in the bed. "Goodnight, my little sweetie. Pleasant dreams." She left the room and I was alone. I went to sleep and my dreams were happy. I think Grandnana made them so.

 

 

 


	20. Secret Laboratory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Something seemed to snap inside Adar, as if a tight string had suddenly unravelled..."

 

 

"I have decided to give you a new suite of rooms, more fitting for a young lord of this realm. They are beside Arwen's rooms and there is a connecting door if you need her help." Adar gave me a fleeting, small smile, it was about all he could do, but at least he was trying. "You get on well with Arwen now, so I thought she would be the best choice."

 

 

"What about my secret laboratory which no one knows about?" I was alarmed to the point of panicking.

 

 

Adar opened the door to my new rooms. There was a sitting room with a sofa and table and a bookcase full of my books. Father opened a door leading to my bedroom. My bed was against the wall. Father opened a door to the bathroom before closing it and then he opened another door. Inside was a cupboard.

 

 

"Step inside," he said softly, his voice tinged with excitement. He stepped forward and I followed. The cupboard was an illusion. We stood in a laboratory, bigger and with more equipment than the old one. "Perhaps it would be a good idea to focus your experiments further afield than on your brothers for the moment." Adar looked at me and I nodded. After all, he had given me a fantastic new laboratory, so it would have been selfish to refuse. He patted the top of my head, which was about all the affection he had shown me for the past few years.

 

 

I looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you. It's better than anything I could ever have hoped for." Adar gave me another smile, not a big one, but one nonetheless. "Thank you. Thank you!" I threw my arms around his waist, not being tall enough to aim higher. I hugged him really hard and looked up at him with a huge smile on my face.

 

 

Something seemed to snap inside Adar, as if a tight string had suddenly unravelled, allowing him to feel for the first time in years. He bent down and pulled me close before letting me go. He kissed the top of my head before leaving the room, leaving me alone to explore my new wonderland. It was fantastic! It was brilliant! It was the most marvellous secret magic laboratory ever! And it was better than Erestor's. Of course I would show him. After all, he showed me his.

 

 

Now I could work on my new experiment, but first I would go to see Arwen. I knocked at her door before walking in. She was trying on a new necklace.

 

 

"That looks pretty on you," I said. "Father gave me a secret laboratory. Would you like to help me do an experiment? We could see how Elladan and Elrohir manage to eat with hairy teeth."

 

 

Arwen looked as if all her Yules had come at once. She put the necklace down, rose from the chair and took my hand. "Lead the way."

 

 

 

[ ](http://photobucket.com/)

 

 

 The End.

 

 

 


End file.
